About my Joey

I first off want to say that writing in this blog has been the best thing I've done for myself in a long time. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think about is writing - something that hasn't happened to me since... well, probably college. It's cool to be excited to do something. Even something small that (almost) nobody knows about.

Yesterday morning I was feeling good and the kids were in great moods, so I decided to make a big breakfast for everybody. Of course, Joey helped and I had to hold Frankie the whole time the minute I decided to venture into the kitchen, but we were all happy and there was no crying or whining, so I was still excited to do it.

Joey woke up Stuart and told him we had a special breakfast waiting. He was so excited. Adorable.

For some reason Joey insists on dunking his pancakes in syrup instead of just putting syrup on top. And he doesn't use his hands because he loathes getting his hands dirty. So, the pancake almost always gets stuck in the pool of syrup, and he never wants to get it out, because of my former statement. So, I always have to fish it out with my hands and feed it to him and if even a tiny drop gets in his chin or his finger or his arm, he gets so upset.  I know what you're thinking: Just teach him to be flexible! Tell him not to worry about it and it's just a dot! Tell him to wipe it himself! Tell him to lick it off! Ya, okay. I've tried all those things a thousand times. The only thing that he now 'goes with the flow' on when it comes to this scenario is water. Because I tell him it will dry. And it always does.

Joey isn't a 'go with the flow' kid. He likes things the way he likes things.  He has an incredibly hard time negotiating and once he's fixated on something that bothers him, there's no chance you're going to distract him until you fix that one thing.  If he has a way that he'd planned on doing things and you do something slightly different? You're gonna bet he'll go back and change it to how it had been before you moved whatever you moved and he'll move it slightly to the left the way he wanted it. It's not good enough for him to just do said thing the way he wanted to do it, he has to go back and put it back the way it was before you ruined everything! 

I've tried time and time again to make Joey go with the flow, to no avail at all.  He now freaks out way way less about things, but he still calmly asks for them to be the way he wants them.  I don't think it's a bratty thing. I think this is just the way Joey's brain is wired. Do you know why I think this? Because I married adult Joey. Some of the things that Stuart cares about and his attention to small details are completely baffling to me.  He wonders how I can be 'so careless' and I wonder how he can be 'so anal'. But, guess what? I respect and love Stuart for the man that he is, and I'm going to pay Joey that same courtesy.  He's his own little boy and it's not my job to change him.  It's my job to love him and make him feel safe.  Does that mean I'm going to let him be a little dictator? No. No way.  It just means, allowing him to care about things, but teaching him a calm way to express himself and to help him understand that different people do things in different ways and that that's okay.