I'm TWELVE WEEKS!
Not only does that mean that my risk for a miscarriage is way down, it also means that I'm going to start getting my life back. I hope. Doctors say that in the second trimester, energy should return and nausea should subside. No one knows the sure cause of morning sickness, but it's thought that the rise of the hCG hormone is the culprit because it peaks at the time morning sickness is said to be the worst. Or surges in progesterone or estrogen. Or the newly acquired keen sense of smell. I'm sure these are all factors. None the less, I'm supposed to start feeling better soon and I couldn't be more thrilled.
Yesterday, I only puked once. Once. Yup. It was amazing. I felt good for about 50% of the day, okay for about 40% and really bad for only 10%! I'll take it!
My baby is the size of a lime. A lime! That's not that small anymore! This thing is in fine form! It doesn't get any less exciting to be growing a baby in my third pregnancy. People always say that you won't even know how many weeks you are come the third baby (or even the second), but I haven't found that to be true at all. Maybe because my pregnancy has been so rough this time around... but, I also think it's because I'm just excited!
I did that weird thing the other day where you put your wedding ring on a strand of your hair and see which way it spins or whatever, and it said that my next baby will be a girl. Who knowwws. But, it's fun to do. I don't really have a preference because I think having a boy is awesome and I also think having a girl is awesome. I slightly would prefer a girl because Frankie is so social and I think it would be cool for her to have a close in age sister, but baby boys are so fricken cute. There's just something about a tiny boy. And plus, I'm dying to take out Joey's old baby clothes for nostalgia's sake. And Joey was a way better nurser than Frankie ever was, and I've been told by so many people that girls are bad nursers. And I don't want another bad nurser! It was so frustrating. But, I guess, for all the long term reasons, I kind of prefer a girl. But, shh. I'm not allowed to say that.
I have such a vivid memory of being at my Grandma's house while my Auntie Gloria was pregnant with Dallas (23). We were sitting on a bed - my mom, my Grandma, and I, and my aunt was laying down with her shirt rolled up while we hovered her wedding ring attached to a strand of her hair over her belly button. Could you imagine if someone had gotten a picture of that memory? It was a pretty beautiful one. All the women in the family, sitting on the bed with a pregnant woman doing something superstitious for pregnancy? It doesn't get much more beautiful than that. It seems so old school. And it is. When I did it, it was just me sitting by the computer because I was reading step by step directions on how to do it. hahaha Oh, how times have changed. What I wouldn't give to lay on a bed at my Grandma's old house with my aunt, mom, and Grandma and have everyone care, from close by, what gender my baby will be. I know I know that everyone cares, but living far away, I don't get to have any of these moments with my family and up until now it hasn't made me sad, and now it's making me a little sad.
Living on our own in California is actually great. It's been the best thing for our marriage and even our independence as people and has forced us to branch out with friendships and I think it's made Stuart a more confident guy. We're both the youngest and we're both go with the flow tag along kind of people (textbook youngest) so, living anywhere remotely near our families meant we saw them a whole heck of a lot more than the average bear. And we both had steadfast 'old faithful' relationships with friends back home and didn't try to make any friends in the city we were living in. I'm not saying that having reliable, familiar relationships is bad at all. We are both so lucky to have so many close relationships with friends. But, when those are your only friendships and you live an hour outside of the city they all live in, then you're just livin' in the past, man. It's important to have friends where you live.
And now, in California, we hang out together so much more. It's so nice and so good for our marriage. And our family. We both have good friends that we see on a regular basis, and we finally have a church in our city. When we lived back in Vancouver, we were mostly going to Greendale Church because we stayed with our parents on most weekends. How crazy is that? Looking back, that's so crazy to me! We were so not independent yet. I'm sure our parents loved it. (I'm not being sarcastic. If my kid lived far away and wanted to come home with their spouse and stay with me on weekends, I'd be beyond thrilled.)
Not only are those bonuses a great part about living apart from family, I also feel that my relationship with my parents is better, and especially my relationship with my in-laws. Not that I didn't have a good relationship with them previously. When my mother and father in law come out, we spend so much time together and I feel that I know them so well now and they know me so well. It's been a great experience.
I don't know if we'll live here forever, but I do know that it's been great for us in every way.
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Saturday, October 29, 2016
On Men
Hey, cool! I'm officially sitting at a coffee shop to blog because I like doing it and my mother in law is sleeping in our living room and it's 6 am. I've never been good at getting anything done in a coffee shop, so if this blog post is literally nothing - that will have to be why.
I talked to my dad last night, which was nice. Our conversations are usually quite shallow and awkward with lots of dead air. I always felt like I had a good relationship with my dad, but now I'm realizing that liking my dad and enjoying being around him, and him liking me and enjoying being around me... well, actually now that I type that, it does sound like a good relationship. It's just not a deep one, I guess. I haven't talked to my dad about my relationships with friends or anything going on in my life for a long time. And now there really is no "my life" because "my life" is the kids and there's only so many bullet points about them that I can pull together in a 15 minute conversation that happens roughly once every 3 weeks.
But, something cool happened last night. My dad told me a bunch of stuff about a relationship he has with one of his old friends and how he got a phone call out of the blue and all about the conversation and that his (male) friend said "I love you" at the end of the conversation, and that my dad had said "I love you" back to him. And he said it was nice to hear that and he's never heard it from a friend before. It really touched me that he would share that with me. I like to know how my dad thinks and how he would react to things and how things are meaningful to him even though I for some reason thought that nothing is meaningful to my dad. (I don't know why I thought that. I've never said it. and it sounds bad to think it. But, I guess I have.) Maybe I thought that because he never wants anything for Christmas. But, I guess caring about relationships and caring about things is a lot different.
My dad doesn't often talk about his feelings, even to my mom. I don't know if it's a guy thing, a generation thing, or a my dad thing. I'm guessing it's a combo. I don't think it's unique. And I think often times, it takes a man a lot to feel anything in particular about... anything, really. I used to find this to be a frustrating thing about men, but now that I'm really thinking about it, I think it's something special about men. When I'm feeling overwhelmed and upset over a mutual situation Stuart and I are sharing, he can always talk to me logically about it and help me take a less emotional position. I'm not at all saying he doesn't validate my emotions. Stuart is the master of caring about me. Thinking about how much he cares for me and loves me is making me tear up right now at Peet's at 6:15 in the morning. That's how well he treats me.
So, when a man has those rare moments of opening up about his feelings, it feels so important and so meaningful, whereas a female is talking about her emotions all of the time and (and I'm purely guessing) it would seem less meaningful after a while to a man and he would (and I'm guessing again) become less reactive to outbursts of emotions or declarations of emotions. That's probably why women feel like men don't care about their emotions - not because they don't care, just because they're so used to it.
If something happens a million times, you become complacent to it. Think about it - if on your route to work one day someone ran out in front of your car, it would startle you. It would freak you out. But if that same person ran out in front of your car every day in the same spot on the way to work, you would get used to it. You'd get used to anything after a while. If your boss yelled at you, you'd be sad. If he did it again, you'd be sad/mad, and if he did it all of the time, you'd say probably say, "Oh, that's just Bill. He's a bit of a hothead."
I'm not saying to not talk about our emotions, but maybe it is important not to be flippant with expressing disdain, frustration, and hurt with our male counterparts when it's something that's not important and something you know you might be overreacting to. Maybe. So, maybe when you do express those 'run in front of the car' emotions, it will be the shock and 'are you okay?' instead of the waving of the hand to let your emotion pass by, so to speak.
When Stuart tells me his feelings about something, it's never when I've said, "Tell me how you feel! What are you thinking about? What are you feeling?" Ever. It's always been in quiet moments. And I hang on every word because those moments are so important to me and I value them so much. I feel like he trusts me. I feel closer to him. I can understand him better.
Or, maybe the whole thing is a big crap shoot and men and women just are wired differently and care about different things, and while the sharing of emotions from men is so meaningful to women, it's just because women are emotional creatures, and if the reverse were to happen, it wouldn't be nearly as meaningful to men. But, I think my complacency theory isn't a bad one.
Anyway - that was not at all what I expected this post to be about, but it made me think about things I haven't thought about. So... cool!
I talked to my dad last night, which was nice. Our conversations are usually quite shallow and awkward with lots of dead air. I always felt like I had a good relationship with my dad, but now I'm realizing that liking my dad and enjoying being around him, and him liking me and enjoying being around me... well, actually now that I type that, it does sound like a good relationship. It's just not a deep one, I guess. I haven't talked to my dad about my relationships with friends or anything going on in my life for a long time. And now there really is no "my life" because "my life" is the kids and there's only so many bullet points about them that I can pull together in a 15 minute conversation that happens roughly once every 3 weeks.
But, something cool happened last night. My dad told me a bunch of stuff about a relationship he has with one of his old friends and how he got a phone call out of the blue and all about the conversation and that his (male) friend said "I love you" at the end of the conversation, and that my dad had said "I love you" back to him. And he said it was nice to hear that and he's never heard it from a friend before. It really touched me that he would share that with me. I like to know how my dad thinks and how he would react to things and how things are meaningful to him even though I for some reason thought that nothing is meaningful to my dad. (I don't know why I thought that. I've never said it. and it sounds bad to think it. But, I guess I have.) Maybe I thought that because he never wants anything for Christmas. But, I guess caring about relationships and caring about things is a lot different.
My dad doesn't often talk about his feelings, even to my mom. I don't know if it's a guy thing, a generation thing, or a my dad thing. I'm guessing it's a combo. I don't think it's unique. And I think often times, it takes a man a lot to feel anything in particular about... anything, really. I used to find this to be a frustrating thing about men, but now that I'm really thinking about it, I think it's something special about men. When I'm feeling overwhelmed and upset over a mutual situation Stuart and I are sharing, he can always talk to me logically about it and help me take a less emotional position. I'm not at all saying he doesn't validate my emotions. Stuart is the master of caring about me. Thinking about how much he cares for me and loves me is making me tear up right now at Peet's at 6:15 in the morning. That's how well he treats me.
So, when a man has those rare moments of opening up about his feelings, it feels so important and so meaningful, whereas a female is talking about her emotions all of the time and (and I'm purely guessing) it would seem less meaningful after a while to a man and he would (and I'm guessing again) become less reactive to outbursts of emotions or declarations of emotions. That's probably why women feel like men don't care about their emotions - not because they don't care, just because they're so used to it.
If something happens a million times, you become complacent to it. Think about it - if on your route to work one day someone ran out in front of your car, it would startle you. It would freak you out. But if that same person ran out in front of your car every day in the same spot on the way to work, you would get used to it. You'd get used to anything after a while. If your boss yelled at you, you'd be sad. If he did it again, you'd be sad/mad, and if he did it all of the time, you'd say probably say, "Oh, that's just Bill. He's a bit of a hothead."
I'm not saying to not talk about our emotions, but maybe it is important not to be flippant with expressing disdain, frustration, and hurt with our male counterparts when it's something that's not important and something you know you might be overreacting to. Maybe. So, maybe when you do express those 'run in front of the car' emotions, it will be the shock and 'are you okay?' instead of the waving of the hand to let your emotion pass by, so to speak.
When Stuart tells me his feelings about something, it's never when I've said, "Tell me how you feel! What are you thinking about? What are you feeling?" Ever. It's always been in quiet moments. And I hang on every word because those moments are so important to me and I value them so much. I feel like he trusts me. I feel closer to him. I can understand him better.
Or, maybe the whole thing is a big crap shoot and men and women just are wired differently and care about different things, and while the sharing of emotions from men is so meaningful to women, it's just because women are emotional creatures, and if the reverse were to happen, it wouldn't be nearly as meaningful to men. But, I think my complacency theory isn't a bad one.
Anyway - that was not at all what I expected this post to be about, but it made me think about things I haven't thought about. So... cool!
Friday, October 28, 2016
A lo-o-o-o-o-ong post about a lo-o-o-o-o-o-ong day
It's raining today and it sounds so nice outside. It never rains. I think in three and a half years that we've lived here it's rained less than ten times.
Having said how happy I am about the rain, it came on kind of a bummer of a day - yesterday - when Nvidia had rented out all of California's Great America (theme park) for their Halloween party. Womp! They cancelled :(
Yesterday, I figured since it was raining and I was feeling pretty okay that we would go to the hospital and get flu shots for the kids since I already got one at my last prenatal appointment and Stuart got one at work a few weeks ago.
About half an hour before we left, I started feeling super nauseated and I was so frustrated because the kids really need flu shots and I was trying to will myself to feel better and Joey was.NOT.listening to me. He had his clothes on, I had gotten Frankie and myself dressed, and all there was to do before I could sit the heck down was to get Joey's socks and shoes on. But, suddenly he didn't want to listen to me.
I asked him nicely to come sit by me for socks. He completely ignored me. I said, "Joey. Get over here. It's time to put your socks on. We're leaving soon." Nothing. Then, I counted to three and at the end of counting to three, he (and he's never done this before) he hit me! I was so mad!! "Get. over. here. right. now." I said. By now he had this little hand clapper toy in one of his hands that he'd gotten in a goodie bag after someones first birthday. Yes, we still have a crummy goody bag thing from a first birthday over two years ago. And the kids play with it.
He didn't come over. Instead he had this super angry, defiant look on his face and started angrily jabbing and flapping the hand clapper in my face. WOW. I was so mad, guys. And I was feeling so sick. And I was so done. I can't really express how mad I was about this whole stupid scene, that looking back is just one of those defiant moments that definitely happens, but with the way I was feeling and I guess my hormones and the fact that I just wanted us to get out the door after chasing the kids around to dress them and I thought the end was in sight made me do this...
wait - to preface - in my head I wanted to scream at Joey. Like, scream scream scream. But, I knew that if I started screaming, it would be ridiculous. So, I grabbed the hand clapper and looked Joey in the eye and broke it piece by piece and said in a quiet voice, "This toy is done." Oh my gosh! I felt so terrible. But so good at the same time. I have no idea if I did the right thing in that situation, but I've never (and hopefully will never again) broken a toy in front of Joey as a punishment. I definitely wouldn't have done it if it was an awesome toy, but the fact that the thing cost 10 cents made me feel like it was probably a good time for this lesson.
He. was. so. sad.
like, so. sad.
He got his socks on while sobbing and saying, "You don't have to do that mommy. You don't have to do that. We could have put it on the side of the road for someone." Oh my gosh. It was so sad. I thought, huh. We could have done that. That would have been way better. Joey should be a parent. haha. But, in less than five minutes when socks and shoes were on and we got to the car, it was all over and Joey had apologized for not listening and I apologized for having to break his toy to teach him that it's not okay to listen.
I was still mad in the car, which is ridiculous, but I forced myself to get over it because of how silly I was being and Joey and I chatted all the way to the hospital.
When we got to the hospital there was no parking and I kept saying
"Oh man! Where's a parking spot?"
and Joey kept saying,
"It's okay mommy! Don't worry! We'll find one! We can just drive around a little bit!"
It was so cute.
After like 20 minutes, we found a parking spot and I was feeling sicker than before. As soon as we got inside, we found a bathroom for Joey to go wee wee and as soon as we got into the stall, I started retching. Two tiny kids and a mom in a tiny hospital bathroom stall, me puking, Joey being a little scared (because it's weird to see your mom puke) and saying "It's too loud, mommy" and me (between heaves) saying, "Joey, mommy's okay. It's going to be okay." And some old lady knocking and asking if "everything is alright in there" oh my gosh. It was so exhausting. And I felt terrible that the kids had to see me do that. (not like they haven't before this pregnancy)
When we got out of the stall and were washing our hands, Joey said,
"The baby was saying 'Mommy! Puke!!'" HAHA it was so hilarious and the way he said 'mommy! puke!!' was in this weird monster voice. It was so funny that he and I were laughing as we left the bathroom. What would I do without Joey?
After throwing up, I had such a splitting headache that I thought we might just go home sans flu shot, but we were already there, so I just thought I'd suck it up.
The woman in pediatrics who administered the shot was the worst!!!! I had Joey and Frankie on my lap and she quickly poked Joeys arm (which was fine) and he was screaming and crying and she didn't even give me five seconds to comfort him OR warn me that she was about to jab Frankie's leg. Anytime I've brought a baby in for shots, they say to hold their arms down so they don't try to pull the needle. But, she didn't even warn me she was about to do the shot RIGHT after Joey's and I was still holding both of them and hadn't held down Frankie's arms yet and guess what? Frankie pulled the needle out and the needle left a big scratch on her leg! I was so upset!! OOOh, I was so upset!!
AHH. Even thinking about it now makes me so mad! It would have taken an extra five seconds just to let me hug Joey and put him down before holding Frankie down so she didn't hurt herself! UGH!
Anyway - after that whole ordeal was over, Joey reminded me that I promised him a cookie at the bakery across the street from the hospital and we went over there for a massive sugar cookie. My baby headache was turning into a full grown headache, but a promise is a promise. I got him his cookie and myself a small coffee. NOT because I wanted coffee. The thought actually made me kind of sick, but the doctor had told me to drink coffee when I have a headache because it will slightly alleviate it.
The kids were SO good at the bakery. Like, so so good. We had brought a few cars and they were playing nicely together and even sitting beside me on chairs. It was like some sort of miracle. We stayed for like half an hour and it was really nice.
I don't know if it was the fact that the kids were being so great and I was so proud of them or what, but as we were leaving when Joey asked me if we could go play at Kid2Kid (a children's consignment store that's on the way home from the hospital) I said yes. I should have said no in hindsight because I was feeling so bad and it was so close to nap time, but, live and learn.
The kids were so great at the consignment store and were playing so nicely. It was actually really a fun way to spend ... however long we were there! There's a small toy section where they played and at the front of the store is new Melissa and Doug things (which I LOVE) and they were 20% off, so I bought Christmas presents for all my nieces and nephews!
Toward the end of our shopping trip, I saw Joey climb into a bed that was at the front of the store and pull the blanket on top of himself. Uhhhh, OOPS! It was time to go home and have a nap!!!
Frankie had been wandering around the store with a Leapfrog learning dog (she is OBSESSED with those things) and when I tried to take it away from her when it was time to go, she had a WORLD CLASS FREAK OUT. Like, flailing around, pushing me away, falling down and running back into the store. Joey ran back into the store along with her and started 'working' on something while I tried to calm Frankie down. I picked Frankie back up and she flailed backwards and bonked her head (and guys, I was SO sick at this point) She was crying so bad from that and still freaking out about the dog and people were starting to stare. I grabbed her (and had a PILE of stuff in my hands that I had just bought and for some reason they didn't give me a bag) and told Joey it was time to go. But, he was working on something. And he didn't want to go until he finished. So I ordered him to come. And he lost it because he just wanted to finish what he was doing. But, with Frankie freaking out the way she was, we didn't have another second.
I grabbed Joey somehow, too and the two of them were screaming like absolute banshees, tears and snot rolling down their faces, and I forced them both down into their car seats, buckled up, and by the time we started driving, they were both happy again. WOW that was crazy exhausting.
When we got home, it was immediate nap time for Frankie, immediate Tylenol time for me, then Joey and I sat on the couch and read four books while I fed him lunch and then he went down for his nap.
Nap time was amazing. I. did. nothing. and it. was. awesome.
Frankie usually wakes up about an hour before Joey does (I don't know how that girl needs so little sleep at her age!) and we play in the bedroom. Our favorite thing to do lately is this little piggy. she loves it so much. And 'round and 'round the garden on her hands. It's so cute! We talk about animals and body parts and I drop things into a box and count them. I feel like this hour is where we do crash course learning because the rest of the day is playing together with Joey. Which I'm sure she's learning more there than I realize.
Frankie always loves when Joey wakes up and the three of us hang out on mommy and daddy's bed. We've done this since Frankie was born, which I'm sure is why she loves it so much. We always hang out and talk on the bed together after Joey's nap and Frankie absolutely adores Joey. Then, Joey goes and gets us each a car and we vroom around talking (as the cars, of course) for the next 20 minutes or so, before venturing into the living room. Then the kids play and I make dinner. This is our post-nap routine.
Stuart came home around 6 and we all had a nice dinner together. The kids (especially Frankie) were in good moods. Frankie is sooo funny. She always makes these hilarious faces at Stuart. She adores Stuart. When Stuart is around, she's always happy. Always. It's so sweet how much she loves him.
After dinner, I spent 15 minutes by myself locked in the bedroom while Stuart played and cleaned up toys with the kids, then I emerged to watch our traditional 5 minutes of Bob the Builder with the kids and put Frankie to bed.
After dinner I had a super relaxing bath, some time with Stuart, and then I started to feel ultra sick. I was going to put one of Stuart's shirts on and I asked him if it was clean. He said to smell it. I did and immediately ran to the bathroom and spent the next five minutes throwing up. It was actually hilarious and when I got out of the bathroom, Stuart said, "Now there's a first" and we both started laughing.
This girl that I know (that now lives in Texas) who has a 2 year old recently had twins and she posted a picture of her with them yesterday with the caption: I took a picture while both girls were crying to see if you can tell from a photo that someone's brain is frying/melting. You can a little bit, it turns out.
She looked insanely exhausted. I almost cried when I saw the picture and wanted to do something nice for her, so I got her a pimpin' million dollar thing from Harry & David because omg if someone ever got me a million dollar thing from Harry & David, I would freak out with joy because it's such a nice thing to get, and she's going to get it in two days and I'm SO excited to do that for her and I can't wait for her to get it!!!
Anyway! Wow, this post turned super long. That was our day yesterday! Tada!
Having said how happy I am about the rain, it came on kind of a bummer of a day - yesterday - when Nvidia had rented out all of California's Great America (theme park) for their Halloween party. Womp! They cancelled :(
Yesterday, I figured since it was raining and I was feeling pretty okay that we would go to the hospital and get flu shots for the kids since I already got one at my last prenatal appointment and Stuart got one at work a few weeks ago.
About half an hour before we left, I started feeling super nauseated and I was so frustrated because the kids really need flu shots and I was trying to will myself to feel better and Joey was.NOT.listening to me. He had his clothes on, I had gotten Frankie and myself dressed, and all there was to do before I could sit the heck down was to get Joey's socks and shoes on. But, suddenly he didn't want to listen to me.
I asked him nicely to come sit by me for socks. He completely ignored me. I said, "Joey. Get over here. It's time to put your socks on. We're leaving soon." Nothing. Then, I counted to three and at the end of counting to three, he (and he's never done this before) he hit me! I was so mad!! "Get. over. here. right. now." I said. By now he had this little hand clapper toy in one of his hands that he'd gotten in a goodie bag after someones first birthday. Yes, we still have a crummy goody bag thing from a first birthday over two years ago. And the kids play with it.
He didn't come over. Instead he had this super angry, defiant look on his face and started angrily jabbing and flapping the hand clapper in my face. WOW. I was so mad, guys. And I was feeling so sick. And I was so done. I can't really express how mad I was about this whole stupid scene, that looking back is just one of those defiant moments that definitely happens, but with the way I was feeling and I guess my hormones and the fact that I just wanted us to get out the door after chasing the kids around to dress them and I thought the end was in sight made me do this...
wait - to preface - in my head I wanted to scream at Joey. Like, scream scream scream. But, I knew that if I started screaming, it would be ridiculous. So, I grabbed the hand clapper and looked Joey in the eye and broke it piece by piece and said in a quiet voice, "This toy is done." Oh my gosh! I felt so terrible. But so good at the same time. I have no idea if I did the right thing in that situation, but I've never (and hopefully will never again) broken a toy in front of Joey as a punishment. I definitely wouldn't have done it if it was an awesome toy, but the fact that the thing cost 10 cents made me feel like it was probably a good time for this lesson.
He. was. so. sad.
like, so. sad.
He got his socks on while sobbing and saying, "You don't have to do that mommy. You don't have to do that. We could have put it on the side of the road for someone." Oh my gosh. It was so sad. I thought, huh. We could have done that. That would have been way better. Joey should be a parent. haha. But, in less than five minutes when socks and shoes were on and we got to the car, it was all over and Joey had apologized for not listening and I apologized for having to break his toy to teach him that it's not okay to listen.
I was still mad in the car, which is ridiculous, but I forced myself to get over it because of how silly I was being and Joey and I chatted all the way to the hospital.
When we got to the hospital there was no parking and I kept saying
"Oh man! Where's a parking spot?"
and Joey kept saying,
"It's okay mommy! Don't worry! We'll find one! We can just drive around a little bit!"
It was so cute.
After like 20 minutes, we found a parking spot and I was feeling sicker than before. As soon as we got inside, we found a bathroom for Joey to go wee wee and as soon as we got into the stall, I started retching. Two tiny kids and a mom in a tiny hospital bathroom stall, me puking, Joey being a little scared (because it's weird to see your mom puke) and saying "It's too loud, mommy" and me (between heaves) saying, "Joey, mommy's okay. It's going to be okay." And some old lady knocking and asking if "everything is alright in there" oh my gosh. It was so exhausting. And I felt terrible that the kids had to see me do that. (not like they haven't before this pregnancy)
When we got out of the stall and were washing our hands, Joey said,
"The baby was saying 'Mommy! Puke!!'" HAHA it was so hilarious and the way he said 'mommy! puke!!' was in this weird monster voice. It was so funny that he and I were laughing as we left the bathroom. What would I do without Joey?
After throwing up, I had such a splitting headache that I thought we might just go home sans flu shot, but we were already there, so I just thought I'd suck it up.
The woman in pediatrics who administered the shot was the worst!!!! I had Joey and Frankie on my lap and she quickly poked Joeys arm (which was fine) and he was screaming and crying and she didn't even give me five seconds to comfort him OR warn me that she was about to jab Frankie's leg. Anytime I've brought a baby in for shots, they say to hold their arms down so they don't try to pull the needle. But, she didn't even warn me she was about to do the shot RIGHT after Joey's and I was still holding both of them and hadn't held down Frankie's arms yet and guess what? Frankie pulled the needle out and the needle left a big scratch on her leg! I was so upset!! OOOh, I was so upset!!
AHH. Even thinking about it now makes me so mad! It would have taken an extra five seconds just to let me hug Joey and put him down before holding Frankie down so she didn't hurt herself! UGH!
Anyway - after that whole ordeal was over, Joey reminded me that I promised him a cookie at the bakery across the street from the hospital and we went over there for a massive sugar cookie. My baby headache was turning into a full grown headache, but a promise is a promise. I got him his cookie and myself a small coffee. NOT because I wanted coffee. The thought actually made me kind of sick, but the doctor had told me to drink coffee when I have a headache because it will slightly alleviate it.
The kids were SO good at the bakery. Like, so so good. We had brought a few cars and they were playing nicely together and even sitting beside me on chairs. It was like some sort of miracle. We stayed for like half an hour and it was really nice.
I don't know if it was the fact that the kids were being so great and I was so proud of them or what, but as we were leaving when Joey asked me if we could go play at Kid2Kid (a children's consignment store that's on the way home from the hospital) I said yes. I should have said no in hindsight because I was feeling so bad and it was so close to nap time, but, live and learn.
The kids were so great at the consignment store and were playing so nicely. It was actually really a fun way to spend ... however long we were there! There's a small toy section where they played and at the front of the store is new Melissa and Doug things (which I LOVE) and they were 20% off, so I bought Christmas presents for all my nieces and nephews!
Toward the end of our shopping trip, I saw Joey climb into a bed that was at the front of the store and pull the blanket on top of himself. Uhhhh, OOPS! It was time to go home and have a nap!!!
Frankie had been wandering around the store with a Leapfrog learning dog (she is OBSESSED with those things) and when I tried to take it away from her when it was time to go, she had a WORLD CLASS FREAK OUT. Like, flailing around, pushing me away, falling down and running back into the store. Joey ran back into the store along with her and started 'working' on something while I tried to calm Frankie down. I picked Frankie back up and she flailed backwards and bonked her head (and guys, I was SO sick at this point) She was crying so bad from that and still freaking out about the dog and people were starting to stare. I grabbed her (and had a PILE of stuff in my hands that I had just bought and for some reason they didn't give me a bag) and told Joey it was time to go. But, he was working on something. And he didn't want to go until he finished. So I ordered him to come. And he lost it because he just wanted to finish what he was doing. But, with Frankie freaking out the way she was, we didn't have another second.
I grabbed Joey somehow, too and the two of them were screaming like absolute banshees, tears and snot rolling down their faces, and I forced them both down into their car seats, buckled up, and by the time we started driving, they were both happy again. WOW that was crazy exhausting.
When we got home, it was immediate nap time for Frankie, immediate Tylenol time for me, then Joey and I sat on the couch and read four books while I fed him lunch and then he went down for his nap.
Nap time was amazing. I. did. nothing. and it. was. awesome.
Frankie usually wakes up about an hour before Joey does (I don't know how that girl needs so little sleep at her age!) and we play in the bedroom. Our favorite thing to do lately is this little piggy. she loves it so much. And 'round and 'round the garden on her hands. It's so cute! We talk about animals and body parts and I drop things into a box and count them. I feel like this hour is where we do crash course learning because the rest of the day is playing together with Joey. Which I'm sure she's learning more there than I realize.
Frankie always loves when Joey wakes up and the three of us hang out on mommy and daddy's bed. We've done this since Frankie was born, which I'm sure is why she loves it so much. We always hang out and talk on the bed together after Joey's nap and Frankie absolutely adores Joey. Then, Joey goes and gets us each a car and we vroom around talking (as the cars, of course) for the next 20 minutes or so, before venturing into the living room. Then the kids play and I make dinner. This is our post-nap routine.
Stuart came home around 6 and we all had a nice dinner together. The kids (especially Frankie) were in good moods. Frankie is sooo funny. She always makes these hilarious faces at Stuart. She adores Stuart. When Stuart is around, she's always happy. Always. It's so sweet how much she loves him.
After dinner, I spent 15 minutes by myself locked in the bedroom while Stuart played and cleaned up toys with the kids, then I emerged to watch our traditional 5 minutes of Bob the Builder with the kids and put Frankie to bed.
After dinner I had a super relaxing bath, some time with Stuart, and then I started to feel ultra sick. I was going to put one of Stuart's shirts on and I asked him if it was clean. He said to smell it. I did and immediately ran to the bathroom and spent the next five minutes throwing up. It was actually hilarious and when I got out of the bathroom, Stuart said, "Now there's a first" and we both started laughing.
This girl that I know (that now lives in Texas) who has a 2 year old recently had twins and she posted a picture of her with them yesterday with the caption: I took a picture while both girls were crying to see if you can tell from a photo that someone's brain is frying/melting. You can a little bit, it turns out.
She looked insanely exhausted. I almost cried when I saw the picture and wanted to do something nice for her, so I got her a pimpin' million dollar thing from Harry & David because omg if someone ever got me a million dollar thing from Harry & David, I would freak out with joy because it's such a nice thing to get, and she's going to get it in two days and I'm SO excited to do that for her and I can't wait for her to get it!!!
Anyway! Wow, this post turned super long. That was our day yesterday! Tada!
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Not about my kids!
Do you ever think about all of the time you waste and all of the things that you could have done while you were, for instance, re-watching parenthood for the umpteenth time? And by the by, I still can't believe umpteenth is a real word. It's the most non-word sounding word I've ever heard.
I really want to stop wasting so much time and get a hobby. I'm so over trying to draw and paint for some reason. Which kind of makes me sad because when I look back on some of the portraits I drew last year, I think that it somehow wasn't really me that did those and I could never do those again even if I tried. It's kind of like how I used to be a fricken awesome pianist. I look at the 15 page Bach I used to play... memorized... and think that somehow that wasn't really me and now I'm just useless and can no longer do anything awesome.
I think I'm just in some sort of creative funk. What I'd really like to do at this point in my life is figure out some awesome memory things that I can make for my mom, grandma, and oma or something and give them something meaningful for Christmas this year. I think that, especially with my oma's cancer and my grandma's surgery this past year, if I don't do something like this now, I may never get the chance.
As I get older, I'm thinking more and more about the meaningfulness of my actions and what can I do to be meaningful in the world. To my friends. To my family. And just to people in general. I don't feel that since having kids that my life isn't meaningful, but sometimes it does feel very small. I know that I have an impact on my kids every day and that raising them well will mean that they will go out and impact our world, but I feel that I have more to offer than I currently am and that I can do better.
There is one thing that has been on my mind a lot, and something that I got surprisingly fired up about, and that's that there is no girls program at our church. There's a boys program that runs mid week for ages k-6, and then of course co-ed youth programs, but nothing or girls k-6. I couldn't believe it! A church with resources like ours should definitely have a program like this. These girls are seriously missing out on something amazing. I remember my days at Pioneer Girls like they were yesterday and I strongly believe that this mid week club shaped my morals, values, and belief system from such an early age and gave me awesome female role models in the church, not to mention deepened friendships that I still have today.
I spoke with one of the children's pastors who told me that they had no one to run the club. I told her that without a doubt, I would be on board to commit to running it and finding volunteers. I think she could see how important I felt it was after our discussion and we talked the following week.
Our church is in a transitional period because our pastor recently moved to be the head of something something and moved out to Sacramento. She said that we can't make any changes until the new pastor is here and we have time to get to know them, then discuss it with them. And by them I mean him and his wife. SO, anyway, now our church has found a (potential) new pastor, who is candidating this week. It should be a couple of months before I (hopefully) can develop a relationship with them and figure out the necessary steps for getting this thing going next September, which would be a perfect time for me since my baby will be old enough to be home for a few hours with Stuart in the evening.
I don't know if running it would mean I would need to receive some sort of official training through the baptist church to be a children's pastor or something. I don't know how official running something like this would be, but I'm really excited about the idea. And if I were to become a children's pastor, that would be something I've never considered, but if it's the next step I need to take to impact some young peoples lives and fill a gap in our church, I'm all for it.
Anyway - that's what may be on the horizon for me.
I really want to stop wasting so much time and get a hobby. I'm so over trying to draw and paint for some reason. Which kind of makes me sad because when I look back on some of the portraits I drew last year, I think that it somehow wasn't really me that did those and I could never do those again even if I tried. It's kind of like how I used to be a fricken awesome pianist. I look at the 15 page Bach I used to play... memorized... and think that somehow that wasn't really me and now I'm just useless and can no longer do anything awesome.
I think I'm just in some sort of creative funk. What I'd really like to do at this point in my life is figure out some awesome memory things that I can make for my mom, grandma, and oma or something and give them something meaningful for Christmas this year. I think that, especially with my oma's cancer and my grandma's surgery this past year, if I don't do something like this now, I may never get the chance.
As I get older, I'm thinking more and more about the meaningfulness of my actions and what can I do to be meaningful in the world. To my friends. To my family. And just to people in general. I don't feel that since having kids that my life isn't meaningful, but sometimes it does feel very small. I know that I have an impact on my kids every day and that raising them well will mean that they will go out and impact our world, but I feel that I have more to offer than I currently am and that I can do better.
There is one thing that has been on my mind a lot, and something that I got surprisingly fired up about, and that's that there is no girls program at our church. There's a boys program that runs mid week for ages k-6, and then of course co-ed youth programs, but nothing or girls k-6. I couldn't believe it! A church with resources like ours should definitely have a program like this. These girls are seriously missing out on something amazing. I remember my days at Pioneer Girls like they were yesterday and I strongly believe that this mid week club shaped my morals, values, and belief system from such an early age and gave me awesome female role models in the church, not to mention deepened friendships that I still have today.
I spoke with one of the children's pastors who told me that they had no one to run the club. I told her that without a doubt, I would be on board to commit to running it and finding volunteers. I think she could see how important I felt it was after our discussion and we talked the following week.
Our church is in a transitional period because our pastor recently moved to be the head of something something and moved out to Sacramento. She said that we can't make any changes until the new pastor is here and we have time to get to know them, then discuss it with them. And by them I mean him and his wife. SO, anyway, now our church has found a (potential) new pastor, who is candidating this week. It should be a couple of months before I (hopefully) can develop a relationship with them and figure out the necessary steps for getting this thing going next September, which would be a perfect time for me since my baby will be old enough to be home for a few hours with Stuart in the evening.
I don't know if running it would mean I would need to receive some sort of official training through the baptist church to be a children's pastor or something. I don't know how official running something like this would be, but I'm really excited about the idea. And if I were to become a children's pastor, that would be something I've never considered, but if it's the next step I need to take to impact some young peoples lives and fill a gap in our church, I'm all for it.
Anyway - that's what may be on the horizon for me.
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
I'm grumpy. Get over it.
Alright, alright. I've been slacking. I've been feeling pretty sucky.
We had a tough late morning at the pumpkin patch. Joey decided he didn't want to go on a ride that all the other kids were going on after I had paid for the ticket and I tried to convince him to and it just made him more upset. I got him off the ride and told him it was okay, but things seemed to spiral out of control after that. I wish that I had just never tried. But, at the same time, it's important to encourage your kids to do things that are out of their comfort zone. It can either be a great success or a great disaster. In this case, it was the latter.
Everything from that moment on was upsetting him. Meltdown after meltdown about every single thing we did. I had so little patience and it was so warm out, and my friend (who was also at the pumpkin patch) told me that I had thick legs, and I just wanted to GO HOME.
(this is how my convo went with her. One of our other friends said that I looked thin in a group facebook message and then today when this other friend saw me she said "I don't see the weight loss at all. maybe it's because you had such thick legs? maybe that's the weight that's gone." Like... why say anything? It hurt my feeeeeelings) It's so annoying! it's SO annoying. What's the point of making comments like that?! Why say anything at all!? UGH i'm in the worst mood about it. Not because I think I'm fat, just because I think it's ultra rude!
UGH.
Anyway- that was my morning. It wasn't all like that, I guess. There were some really fun parts, too. But, those are the parts that stick out the most in my mind still and I just need to let it go.
Can you tell I'm kind of grumpy right now? Cuz I am. You can't be happy all the time, guys.
Anyway - I guess now probably isn't the best time for me to be writing, yet here I am.
Yesterday we went to a really fun event and the kids had a great time and all the other kids in costumes were ADORABLE and I was really happy yesterday even though I got a migraine toward the end of the chaotic/fun event and threw up on the way home and then again at home while the kids were in the bathroom with me. (Worst). But, it was still somehow a really good day.
SO here are some pictures of that because that was a really nice memory:
We had a tough late morning at the pumpkin patch. Joey decided he didn't want to go on a ride that all the other kids were going on after I had paid for the ticket and I tried to convince him to and it just made him more upset. I got him off the ride and told him it was okay, but things seemed to spiral out of control after that. I wish that I had just never tried. But, at the same time, it's important to encourage your kids to do things that are out of their comfort zone. It can either be a great success or a great disaster. In this case, it was the latter.
Everything from that moment on was upsetting him. Meltdown after meltdown about every single thing we did. I had so little patience and it was so warm out, and my friend (who was also at the pumpkin patch) told me that I had thick legs, and I just wanted to GO HOME.
(this is how my convo went with her. One of our other friends said that I looked thin in a group facebook message and then today when this other friend saw me she said "I don't see the weight loss at all. maybe it's because you had such thick legs? maybe that's the weight that's gone." Like... why say anything? It hurt my feeeeeelings) It's so annoying! it's SO annoying. What's the point of making comments like that?! Why say anything at all!? UGH i'm in the worst mood about it. Not because I think I'm fat, just because I think it's ultra rude!
UGH.
Anyway- that was my morning. It wasn't all like that, I guess. There were some really fun parts, too. But, those are the parts that stick out the most in my mind still and I just need to let it go.
Can you tell I'm kind of grumpy right now? Cuz I am. You can't be happy all the time, guys.
Anyway - I guess now probably isn't the best time for me to be writing, yet here I am.
Yesterday we went to a really fun event and the kids had a great time and all the other kids in costumes were ADORABLE and I was really happy yesterday even though I got a migraine toward the end of the chaotic/fun event and threw up on the way home and then again at home while the kids were in the bathroom with me. (Worst). But, it was still somehow a really good day.
SO here are some pictures of that because that was a really nice memory:
Monday, October 24, 2016
Sunday Fun Day!
Yesterday was another really good day. I feel like, despite the morning sickness, I've been having a lot of really good days lately.
The kids didn't wake up until quarter to 8 yesterday, which was the most amazing surprise ever and they were so rested and happy when they woke up. I was worried that since they had a (kind of) late bed time the previous night that they'd wake up earlier and be grumpy for the day. Nope!
BUT, them waking up so late meant that we needed to pedal to the metal because our church starts at 9:15 and it's no easy feet to do all the morning routine stuff in just over an hour with two kids. There are diapers to change, potties to run to, breakfast to have, and always a fight to put on church clothes with Joey. And a whole lot of nagging to get Stuart to hurry up. I used to get the raw end of the deal, which meant no shower, no time to find anything decent to wear, and hurrying everyone out the door and feeling super grumpy.
I don't let that happen to me anymore. I go and have a five minute shower close to the time we leave and assign a job to Stuart for one of the kids. (ie get Joey dressed or get the diaper bag ready) and spend a couple of minutes picking out what I want to wear. Make-up is always done in the car. and I go to church feeling somewhat put together and guess what? It feels fricken great. When I look in a mirror after I go to the bathroom, I think to myself "dayum, girl!" instead of "omg look at my hair."
It's so important for me to spend a little bit of time getting myself ready. Honestly, that usually just means showering and not putting on the clothes I find on the floor. It sounds so simple, but with two toddlers in the house, it is a daily effort.
Anyway, my outfit was adorable yesterday and I felt good.
We had the best time at church. I. LOVE. church. I've always loved church. No matter what season of life I'm in, no matter how I'm feeling when I get to church, being at church is... the best. I love being challenged in my faith and challenged to live better, be kinder, and love others. Having this weekly reminder that I'm not alone in my struggles and be with a group of people who are all trying to be men and women after God's own heart inspires me and energizes me for the week ahead.
After church, Stuart and I went to a class called 'Alter Ego' omg the most lame pun-name of all time. But, it was an awesome class that just wrapped up yesterday. We've been going to it every other week because on alternating weeks we volunteer in the two's room. It's nice because it's not such a formal setting. You sit at tables of 8, eat breakfast together, then listen to a talk and have a discussion and then pray together. I think going to classes at church is so important for that reason. You get to know a variety of people on a deeper level and form such a great community through it. In my opinion, there are not many things more intimate than praying with someone. It's powerfully intimate.
After the class, we picked up our little sweeties. I never realize how much I've missed them until I pick them up from nursery/class. Frankie is so funny. She sees us and starts walking the other way! She loves nursery! It's so cute! There are these two dog stuffed animals there that she apparently finds as soon as we drop her off and clutches for the next three hours in someones lap. :) one year old's are the cutest.
Picking up Joey, his teacher told us that he was crazy good and that he had been an awesome listener (we never really get any report of how he did when we pick him up. Just that 'Joey is so sweet.' or whatever) and that he'd earned a 'super star kid' sticker. We were so proud of him!!
The kids are always starving when we pick them up from second service because they've been in their respective classes for 3 hours and had two tiny snacks. I've started bringing big snacks for them and feeding them in the lobby before we get into the car, because otherwise it's crying and whining all the way home. As I shoved muffin and grapes into Joey's mouth and fig bar into Frankie's, the two of them played together so nicely in the water fountain. Normally I wouldn't let them, but no one was around and they were being so sweet with each other that I didn't care.
When we got home, it was bottle and bed for Frankie, and four books, a bowl of grapes, and bed for Joey. I always sing Joey the National Anthem before nap (US) and now he sings right along with me and he has the cutest singing voice of all time. The only thing he does silly is at the end of the song he always sings "the land of the duckies, and the home of the pigeons" which is hilarious and I always sing that version, too.
For the past few days, I've been doing the Pledge of Allegiance before nap, too because they do it at Cubbies at the beginning of every club night and Joey was asking me about it. Since he only was doing it once a week, he wasn't memorizing it and all the big kids were saying it, so he wanted to learn it, too. At Awanas, all the groups meet in the courtyard and stand in a big square. Cubbies are obviously the youngest, and it goes all the way up to 6th grade (I think). Anyway, they always have these adorable opening ceremonies every week where two people come out with flags: one American flag, and one Awanas flag. Then the whole group says the Pledge of Allegiance, and then the Awanas Pledge. I don't know the Awanas pledge yet, but that's the next one I'll teach Joey.
Yesterday at nap time after we had done the anthem together, Joey said the Pledge of Allegiance all by himself and it was the. cutest. most. grown up sounding. thing. ever.
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America -
And to the republic for which it stands.
One nation - Under God
Indivisible -
With liberty - and Justice - For all."
And he leaves dramatic pauses where I put those lines because that's how I'd been saying it in a super stoic voice when I say it to him. Adorable! My little American boy.
Frankie napped for FOUR HOURS and Joey napped for THREE AND A HALF HOURS. It. was. awesome. I had an ultra long bath, hung out with Stuart, and bummed around watching TV and eating corn chips. The perfect afternoon of all time for a pregnant person.
Stuart started installing our new ultra thin car seats to see if they would fit three across in our tiny Mazda 3. We don't want to buy a new vehicle right now. Not because we don't have the money. Because it's SO annoying to care about a vehicle and have to go test drive stuff and blah blah blah, so we want to avoid it at all costs for as long as humanly possible haha.
He thinks we're going to be able to fit three across, which is amazing!!! and is going to be ultra crazy to try and get a newborn, less than 2 year old, and three year old all in there each time we go out. I just assume we'll be going out a whole lot less than we do right now, which I'm totally okay with.
Having a new baby sounds so exciting and fun and I know Frankie will be such a good sister and Joey, at the nice age he's at, will be such a great big brother! Ahhh, it makes me tear up just thinking about this sweet little family of ours.
When the kids woke up, we decided to go to home group at a friend/pastor's house. There's always dinner and they have two boys with awesome toys. They have cars from Cars, guys. Joey's obsessed. It didn't take any convincing on his end. I made a cookie bar and Joey helped me peel a million tiny Rolo's and little Reeces cups to chop up because we didn't have any chocolate chips in the house. On the way there we bought some ice cream, and off we went.
Some guy from China had brought an awesome noodle dish that he made and it was a little spicy, but that didn't stop Frankie from devouring it. The only problem was that the noodles were super long. She was hilarious eating it.
Joey's dinner consisted of egg rolls and taquitos because he refused to eat anything else. Annnnd I was there to hang out with the adults, so what did I care? I met this girl there that's giving a TED Talk this week! How cool is that?!
Matt and Sarah (whose house home group was it) are super nice and I really like hanging out with them. The only downside of making friends with pastor-y people from church is that they're r-e-a-l-l-y busy and probs don't have a lot of time to hang out because they're always doing ministry/outreaches. BUT, Sarah is a runner and she used to ask me intermittently to train with her and I was always either pregnant or had a tiny baby. And now is no exception. I'm hoping to run with her a bunch next summer after this baby is born because it would be really nice to have a close Christian girlfriend. That's one thing I really miss out here. I have a lot of good friends, but none that I can connect with on that level. It's just a different type of friendship. And I miss it.
Anyway! We were there until so late! The kids didn't get to sleep until nine!! After that, I finally watched (most of) the third presidential debate and then it was off to bed! :)
The end.
The kids didn't wake up until quarter to 8 yesterday, which was the most amazing surprise ever and they were so rested and happy when they woke up. I was worried that since they had a (kind of) late bed time the previous night that they'd wake up earlier and be grumpy for the day. Nope!
BUT, them waking up so late meant that we needed to pedal to the metal because our church starts at 9:15 and it's no easy feet to do all the morning routine stuff in just over an hour with two kids. There are diapers to change, potties to run to, breakfast to have, and always a fight to put on church clothes with Joey. And a whole lot of nagging to get Stuart to hurry up. I used to get the raw end of the deal, which meant no shower, no time to find anything decent to wear, and hurrying everyone out the door and feeling super grumpy.
I don't let that happen to me anymore. I go and have a five minute shower close to the time we leave and assign a job to Stuart for one of the kids. (ie get Joey dressed or get the diaper bag ready) and spend a couple of minutes picking out what I want to wear. Make-up is always done in the car. and I go to church feeling somewhat put together and guess what? It feels fricken great. When I look in a mirror after I go to the bathroom, I think to myself "dayum, girl!" instead of "omg look at my hair."
It's so important for me to spend a little bit of time getting myself ready. Honestly, that usually just means showering and not putting on the clothes I find on the floor. It sounds so simple, but with two toddlers in the house, it is a daily effort.
Anyway, my outfit was adorable yesterday and I felt good.
We had the best time at church. I. LOVE. church. I've always loved church. No matter what season of life I'm in, no matter how I'm feeling when I get to church, being at church is... the best. I love being challenged in my faith and challenged to live better, be kinder, and love others. Having this weekly reminder that I'm not alone in my struggles and be with a group of people who are all trying to be men and women after God's own heart inspires me and energizes me for the week ahead.
After church, Stuart and I went to a class called 'Alter Ego' omg the most lame pun-name of all time. But, it was an awesome class that just wrapped up yesterday. We've been going to it every other week because on alternating weeks we volunteer in the two's room. It's nice because it's not such a formal setting. You sit at tables of 8, eat breakfast together, then listen to a talk and have a discussion and then pray together. I think going to classes at church is so important for that reason. You get to know a variety of people on a deeper level and form such a great community through it. In my opinion, there are not many things more intimate than praying with someone. It's powerfully intimate.
After the class, we picked up our little sweeties. I never realize how much I've missed them until I pick them up from nursery/class. Frankie is so funny. She sees us and starts walking the other way! She loves nursery! It's so cute! There are these two dog stuffed animals there that she apparently finds as soon as we drop her off and clutches for the next three hours in someones lap. :) one year old's are the cutest.
Picking up Joey, his teacher told us that he was crazy good and that he had been an awesome listener (we never really get any report of how he did when we pick him up. Just that 'Joey is so sweet.' or whatever) and that he'd earned a 'super star kid' sticker. We were so proud of him!!
The kids are always starving when we pick them up from second service because they've been in their respective classes for 3 hours and had two tiny snacks. I've started bringing big snacks for them and feeding them in the lobby before we get into the car, because otherwise it's crying and whining all the way home. As I shoved muffin and grapes into Joey's mouth and fig bar into Frankie's, the two of them played together so nicely in the water fountain. Normally I wouldn't let them, but no one was around and they were being so sweet with each other that I didn't care.
When we got home, it was bottle and bed for Frankie, and four books, a bowl of grapes, and bed for Joey. I always sing Joey the National Anthem before nap (US) and now he sings right along with me and he has the cutest singing voice of all time. The only thing he does silly is at the end of the song he always sings "the land of the duckies, and the home of the pigeons" which is hilarious and I always sing that version, too.
For the past few days, I've been doing the Pledge of Allegiance before nap, too because they do it at Cubbies at the beginning of every club night and Joey was asking me about it. Since he only was doing it once a week, he wasn't memorizing it and all the big kids were saying it, so he wanted to learn it, too. At Awanas, all the groups meet in the courtyard and stand in a big square. Cubbies are obviously the youngest, and it goes all the way up to 6th grade (I think). Anyway, they always have these adorable opening ceremonies every week where two people come out with flags: one American flag, and one Awanas flag. Then the whole group says the Pledge of Allegiance, and then the Awanas Pledge. I don't know the Awanas pledge yet, but that's the next one I'll teach Joey.
Yesterday at nap time after we had done the anthem together, Joey said the Pledge of Allegiance all by himself and it was the. cutest. most. grown up sounding. thing. ever.
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America -
And to the republic for which it stands.
One nation - Under God
Indivisible -
With liberty - and Justice - For all."
And he leaves dramatic pauses where I put those lines because that's how I'd been saying it in a super stoic voice when I say it to him. Adorable! My little American boy.
Frankie napped for FOUR HOURS and Joey napped for THREE AND A HALF HOURS. It. was. awesome. I had an ultra long bath, hung out with Stuart, and bummed around watching TV and eating corn chips. The perfect afternoon of all time for a pregnant person.
Stuart started installing our new ultra thin car seats to see if they would fit three across in our tiny Mazda 3. We don't want to buy a new vehicle right now. Not because we don't have the money. Because it's SO annoying to care about a vehicle and have to go test drive stuff and blah blah blah, so we want to avoid it at all costs for as long as humanly possible haha.
He thinks we're going to be able to fit three across, which is amazing!!! and is going to be ultra crazy to try and get a newborn, less than 2 year old, and three year old all in there each time we go out. I just assume we'll be going out a whole lot less than we do right now, which I'm totally okay with.
Having a new baby sounds so exciting and fun and I know Frankie will be such a good sister and Joey, at the nice age he's at, will be such a great big brother! Ahhh, it makes me tear up just thinking about this sweet little family of ours.
When the kids woke up, we decided to go to home group at a friend/pastor's house. There's always dinner and they have two boys with awesome toys. They have cars from Cars, guys. Joey's obsessed. It didn't take any convincing on his end. I made a cookie bar and Joey helped me peel a million tiny Rolo's and little Reeces cups to chop up because we didn't have any chocolate chips in the house. On the way there we bought some ice cream, and off we went.
Some guy from China had brought an awesome noodle dish that he made and it was a little spicy, but that didn't stop Frankie from devouring it. The only problem was that the noodles were super long. She was hilarious eating it.
Joey's dinner consisted of egg rolls and taquitos because he refused to eat anything else. Annnnd I was there to hang out with the adults, so what did I care? I met this girl there that's giving a TED Talk this week! How cool is that?!
Matt and Sarah (whose house home group was it) are super nice and I really like hanging out with them. The only downside of making friends with pastor-y people from church is that they're r-e-a-l-l-y busy and probs don't have a lot of time to hang out because they're always doing ministry/outreaches. BUT, Sarah is a runner and she used to ask me intermittently to train with her and I was always either pregnant or had a tiny baby. And now is no exception. I'm hoping to run with her a bunch next summer after this baby is born because it would be really nice to have a close Christian girlfriend. That's one thing I really miss out here. I have a lot of good friends, but none that I can connect with on that level. It's just a different type of friendship. And I miss it.
Anyway! We were there until so late! The kids didn't get to sleep until nine!! After that, I finally watched (most of) the third presidential debate and then it was off to bed! :)
The end.
Sunday, October 23, 2016
Last Night
We went to a pumpkin painting, dinner eating kind of a party last night. It was so nice. Like, so nice, guys.
Monica is a friend of a friend and my friend Jessica ... who is the friend of Monica... was co-hosting, so we got an invite.
Monica is super sweet and we met her husband last night and he's super nice. They have a nice house and a good sized yard and had rented a bouncy house for the kids to go crazy in. We all sat outside and she had made baked potatoes with everything, a fruit tray, and there was KFC and pizza for all. We ended up staying an hour and a half longer than we originally intended because everyone was having such a nice time.
One thing about having a little introvert kid is: he likes to stick close to me. Not like, right by my side, but fairly close. He gathered all the cars he could find from the toy room and brought them outside to a bench to play with that was right by the food table that the adults were congregating by. All the other kids were laughing and having fun over at the bouncy house and running around, and then there was my sweet, quiet Joey, kneeling by the bench vrooming cars. I will admit, a big part of me wished he was over with the other kids socializing and running around laughing and having fun, but that's just not how Joey has fun.
A little boy came over and started to play cars next to Joey. Before long, they were playing together. I still wished I could watch Joey be in the bouncy house with all the other kids. Because I think I would have been a bouncy house kid. And I want to see him full of joy like those kids.
I wondered what the other parents thought of my quiet, keep-to-himself kid. Frankie just stayed close by my side because Joey was close by my side and she adores Joey. So, Frankie was sitting on my lap while we were eating and one of the other parents said, "Wow. Your children are so well behaved! Are they easy kids?" I had to laugh to myself. Here I was thinking that they were wondering what was wrong with my children for not running wild, and one of them makes a comment about how well tempered they are. That thought hadn't even entered my mind. It was nice to hear.
When all the other kids had left the bouncy house to paint pumpkins (something Joey could not care less about), Joey and Frankie finally took a stab at the bouncy house... and loved it. We had tried to put Joey in the bouncy house when there were a bunch of kids in there and he freaked out and wanted to get out, but now that it was just him and Frankie, he got a chance to get used to it and was having lots of fun. Frankie. went. bananas in the bounce house. She didn't care that she was getting flailed around. She loved every minute of it.
Other kids started coming in one by one until there were around 6 of them in there including Joey and Frankie and Joey continued to have lots of fun. I think he just needed to ease into it. :)
After lots of fun, at 7:45, it was time for us to call it a night. Here are a few pictures I took as the night was wrapping up.
Monica is a friend of a friend and my friend Jessica ... who is the friend of Monica... was co-hosting, so we got an invite.
Monica is super sweet and we met her husband last night and he's super nice. They have a nice house and a good sized yard and had rented a bouncy house for the kids to go crazy in. We all sat outside and she had made baked potatoes with everything, a fruit tray, and there was KFC and pizza for all. We ended up staying an hour and a half longer than we originally intended because everyone was having such a nice time.
One thing about having a little introvert kid is: he likes to stick close to me. Not like, right by my side, but fairly close. He gathered all the cars he could find from the toy room and brought them outside to a bench to play with that was right by the food table that the adults were congregating by. All the other kids were laughing and having fun over at the bouncy house and running around, and then there was my sweet, quiet Joey, kneeling by the bench vrooming cars. I will admit, a big part of me wished he was over with the other kids socializing and running around laughing and having fun, but that's just not how Joey has fun.
A little boy came over and started to play cars next to Joey. Before long, they were playing together. I still wished I could watch Joey be in the bouncy house with all the other kids. Because I think I would have been a bouncy house kid. And I want to see him full of joy like those kids.
I wondered what the other parents thought of my quiet, keep-to-himself kid. Frankie just stayed close by my side because Joey was close by my side and she adores Joey. So, Frankie was sitting on my lap while we were eating and one of the other parents said, "Wow. Your children are so well behaved! Are they easy kids?" I had to laugh to myself. Here I was thinking that they were wondering what was wrong with my children for not running wild, and one of them makes a comment about how well tempered they are. That thought hadn't even entered my mind. It was nice to hear.
When all the other kids had left the bouncy house to paint pumpkins (something Joey could not care less about), Joey and Frankie finally took a stab at the bouncy house... and loved it. We had tried to put Joey in the bouncy house when there were a bunch of kids in there and he freaked out and wanted to get out, but now that it was just him and Frankie, he got a chance to get used to it and was having lots of fun. Frankie. went. bananas in the bounce house. She didn't care that she was getting flailed around. She loved every minute of it.
Other kids started coming in one by one until there were around 6 of them in there including Joey and Frankie and Joey continued to have lots of fun. I think he just needed to ease into it. :)
After lots of fun, at 7:45, it was time for us to call it a night. Here are a few pictures I took as the night was wrapping up.
My best boy
Stuart rocking Frankie back and forth on a tricycle while she clutched a puppy.
Bouncy house Frankie
"I'm not tired mommy. I just want you to hold me. Just because you love me." On the way to our car <3
About my Joey
I first off want to say that writing in this blog has been the best thing I've done for myself in a long time. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think about is writing - something that hasn't happened to me since... well, probably college. It's cool to be excited to do something. Even something small that (almost) nobody knows about.
Yesterday morning I was feeling good and the kids were in great moods, so I decided to make a big breakfast for everybody. Of course, Joey helped and I had to hold Frankie the whole time the minute I decided to venture into the kitchen, but we were all happy and there was no crying or whining, so I was still excited to do it.
Joey woke up Stuart and told him we had a special breakfast waiting. He was so excited. Adorable.
For some reason Joey insists on dunking his pancakes in syrup instead of just putting syrup on top. And he doesn't use his hands because he loathes getting his hands dirty. So, the pancake almost always gets stuck in the pool of syrup, and he never wants to get it out, because of my former statement. So, I always have to fish it out with my hands and feed it to him and if even a tiny drop gets in his chin or his finger or his arm, he gets so upset. I know what you're thinking: Just teach him to be flexible! Tell him not to worry about it and it's just a dot! Tell him to wipe it himself! Tell him to lick it off! Ya, okay. I've tried all those things a thousand times. The only thing that he now 'goes with the flow' on when it comes to this scenario is water. Because I tell him it will dry. And it always does.
Joey isn't a 'go with the flow' kid. He likes things the way he likes things. He has an incredibly hard time negotiating and once he's fixated on something that bothers him, there's no chance you're going to distract him until you fix that one thing. If he has a way that he'd planned on doing things and you do something slightly different? You're gonna bet he'll go back and change it to how it had been before you moved whatever you moved and he'll move it slightly to the left the way he wanted it. It's not good enough for him to just do said thing the way he wanted to do it, he has to go back and put it back the way it was before you ruined everything!
Yesterday morning I was feeling good and the kids were in great moods, so I decided to make a big breakfast for everybody. Of course, Joey helped and I had to hold Frankie the whole time the minute I decided to venture into the kitchen, but we were all happy and there was no crying or whining, so I was still excited to do it.
Joey woke up Stuart and told him we had a special breakfast waiting. He was so excited. Adorable.
For some reason Joey insists on dunking his pancakes in syrup instead of just putting syrup on top. And he doesn't use his hands because he loathes getting his hands dirty. So, the pancake almost always gets stuck in the pool of syrup, and he never wants to get it out, because of my former statement. So, I always have to fish it out with my hands and feed it to him and if even a tiny drop gets in his chin or his finger or his arm, he gets so upset. I know what you're thinking: Just teach him to be flexible! Tell him not to worry about it and it's just a dot! Tell him to wipe it himself! Tell him to lick it off! Ya, okay. I've tried all those things a thousand times. The only thing that he now 'goes with the flow' on when it comes to this scenario is water. Because I tell him it will dry. And it always does.
Joey isn't a 'go with the flow' kid. He likes things the way he likes things. He has an incredibly hard time negotiating and once he's fixated on something that bothers him, there's no chance you're going to distract him until you fix that one thing. If he has a way that he'd planned on doing things and you do something slightly different? You're gonna bet he'll go back and change it to how it had been before you moved whatever you moved and he'll move it slightly to the left the way he wanted it. It's not good enough for him to just do said thing the way he wanted to do it, he has to go back and put it back the way it was before you ruined everything!
I've tried time and time again to make Joey go with the flow, to no avail at all. He now freaks out way way less about things, but he still calmly asks for them to be the way he wants them. I don't think it's a bratty thing. I think this is just the way Joey's brain is wired. Do you know why I think this? Because I married adult Joey. Some of the things that Stuart cares about and his attention to small details are completely baffling to me. He wonders how I can be 'so careless' and I wonder how he can be 'so anal'. But, guess what? I respect and love Stuart for the man that he is, and I'm going to pay Joey that same courtesy. He's his own little boy and it's not my job to change him. It's my job to love him and make him feel safe. Does that mean I'm going to let him be a little dictator? No. No way. It just means, allowing him to care about things, but teaching him a calm way to express himself and to help him understand that different people do things in different ways and that that's okay.
Saturday, October 22, 2016
I never know what to call anything
My worst moments with Joey would definitely have to be times that I yelled at him out of anger and frustration. When the look on your two year old's face is one of terror and you know they're suddenly scared of you? Ya, that's gotta be the worst most sickening feeling in the world. Oops. Didn't deal with that one right. (I say two year old because I don't think I've freaked about three year old Joey's behavior nearly as much as two year old Joey's behavior because two year old Joey drove me to the brink of insanity at times.)
I think something that our generation as parents leans toward doing in these situations is something that our parents generation leaned away from: apologizing for our outburst of anger and reassuring our love with a hug and letting the child know that they're a good child. Their behavior was bad, but they are good. This has been my saving grace, and honestly I think that these admissions of wrong-doing and reassurance of love are part of the reason why Joey is such an incredible kid. He always amazes me with his graciousness and how free he is to tell me how much he loves me.
Anytime I've said we're going to do something and we run out of time, I say, "I'm really sorry, Joey. We don't have time to go for a scooter ride. We grocery shopped longer than I thought we would." (for example) and his response is always, "It's okay mommy. Don't worry! We can go home and play cars and maybe next time we can scooter. It's okay. I love you."
I don't know if I wrote the train track story on here, but one day I found a great train set on a buy and sell group on Facebook and the woman said I could come pick it up the following morning. I showed Joey the train set that night about a thousand times and he was so excited to go pick it up in the morning. Right when he woke up he said, "This morning is a big day, mommy! We're going to get my new train set!" I was really excited for him. We went to the woman's house at the appointed time. No answer. I phoned her three times. Finally, as we were leaving, she phoned me back and said that she had sold it to a friend. I was so mad. I told her, "Well, I've got one crushed little boy in the car." and hung up. I explained to Joey what had happened and that sometimes people are unkind and don't tell the truth and I was really sorry, but we wouldn't be getting the train set because someone else had bought it first. HE SAID, "But, mommy? That's good! That means that someone else who didn't have a train set has one now! We don't have to worry. It's okay!" Wahhh he's so sweet.
Anyway - that's my little shpeel on how much I love my kid.
I was gonna write about the insane phenomenon of mothers intuition, but I'm running out of time, so I'll save that for another day.
A couple of new things:
Yesterday I got a phone call about the awesome place at Rivermark and it got leased somehow yesterday. So, no dream place for me. Gonna stay here at my no-AC, no washer dryer, silverfish, smelly apartment for another 12 long months. Did I mention someone got robbed at gunpoint here at the laundry room right by our apartment. Yup. Did I mention this place isn't even cheap? It's 2500/month. Soo, I spent a lot of yesterday afternoon moping while the kids were sleeping. I was crying and feeling sorry for myself, so I figured I'd better start doing something before I got too upset, so for two hours while the kids slept, I did a pretty useless project that Joey was thrilled about, and I'm actually also thrilled about. He has this hand-me-down book called Pirate Pete and there are all these little things with tabs on them that you can stick into the story to make it different every time. Well, since it was a hand-me-down, it's missing a bunch of the pictures.
I drew them. I cut them out. I glued cardboard backs on them all. When the kids woke up, Joey and Frankie helped me colour them, and today while they're napping, Stuart and I are going to laminate them to use in the book.
The end!
Friday, October 21, 2016
Trinity Stay 'n' Play
If there's one thing I love more than my two little babies it's.... NOTHING! They're both at such sweet ages and I love every minute with them, especially lately. Joey is starting to play so well with Frankie and he's so polite and loving and Frankie is so funny and adorable all the time and I'm just... AH! They just make me so happy.
Here are some pictures of our fun morning at Trinity Stay N Play!
Joey loves the singing time at the end of Stay 'N Play and this time we hurried and got front row seats. He never sings along, but knows all the words to all of the songs.
Here are some pictures of our fun morning at Trinity Stay N Play!
Joey loves the singing time at the end of Stay 'N Play and this time we hurried and got front row seats. He never sings along, but knows all the words to all of the songs.
Frankie was so funny playing with the dinosaurs. She loves them! She kept making growling noises and made them eat each other. hahaha
Someone was pretty excited to get Goldfish crackers!
Playing play dough together after Joey and I made Frankie a leaf crown
Update
Last night I slept for TWELVE AND A HALF HOURS. I have no idea how it happened. Sometimes I go to my room for ten minutes after dinner so that I can have a little bit of alone time and the next thing I knew it was 7 am! Wow! I guess I really needed some sleep.
Let's see, OH! Here's a piece of news. We might be moving in the next 10 days. And I really really really really hope that we are. Our lease is almost up, and I found a place that's bigger (1250 sq feet instead of 880) with two bathrooms, secure parking, air conditioning, and a washer and dryer in the unit. Umm, I'm gonna jizz my pants just thinking about it. and it's the SAME price and in my fantasy location. Like, my ultra ultra fantasy. It's called Rivermark area. Everything around the area is brand new. The schools, the houses, the apartments, and they're mostly luxury apartments, so it's all ultra rich (and to me rich = safe) people living there.
Where we would be living is not even a 1/4 mile away from two beautiful parks, a brand new library, a huge field, and a grocery store! And restaurants! I would never have to drive anywhere! And there's a super cute elementary school within a short walk. because, omg. Joey's going to be five in less than two years.
Oh man. I really hope we get this place. We've got a showing tomorrow at 11:00. Basically, in my opinion, as long as no cockroaches, I'm in.
We went to the area yesterday to hang out at the park/go to the library and I met a really nice girl who moved here six months ago from Russia. She reminded me of me after we moved here. She was so eager to make friends and so grateful that I talked to her. It's a hard spot to be in when you first move to a new place. I suggested exchanging contact info at the end of our chat and she was so happy and said, "Your family needs to come over for dinner! My husband is far more outgoing than I am!" haha it was so cute. I really hope that it happens. :)
Something so sad happened at the park. Joey never cries at the park. Even when he's hurt, he dusts himself off and keeps going. He's just so happy to be there! So, when he started walking slowly toward me bawling his eyes out, I knew something really got to him. I thought he had hurt himself, but someone had hurt his feelings which to a mother is 5000000x worse.
"Those guys called me a monster." he said, pointing to the playground.
"They said, 'He's a monster! Run!'"
Oh my gosh. I was so sad for my little Joey's heart! Obviously, I told him he's not a monster and that he's a good boy and they were just playing and didn't mean to be unkind and that I was so sorry it made him feel sad. I told him over and over again that he's a good boy and they'd be lucky to have him as a friend. Oh my gosh. When I hugged him, I started silently crying! Is this what it's like to be a parent!? This wasn't even one of those hard moments where your kid gets left out, or someone at school decides randomly that they don't like them. It was just two kids playing and Joey could've easily become the monster and played right along with them, he just doesn't understand that yet!
Womp. Being a parent has such joys and such heartache already. and Joey's only three.
Oh! Something else along these lines slightly:
On Wednesday nights, Joey goes to Cubbies from 6:30-8 pm. Cubbies is age 3-5, so Joey's the youngest kid there. Last week, we had worked so hard on his memory verse, and review verse, and Cubbies motto, and he had everything memorized (as always) to earn his sticker.
Last Wednesday I got a text message at around 7:45 saying that Joey had to go potty, but he wouldn't let anyone take him and could I please come take him. I thought that was kind of weird, but I obviously came and took him to the bathroom, at which point he had already slightly peed his pants.
After Cubbies, his teacher said in this awkwardly condescending way, "Yaaaa, we're gonna need you to come sit in for the next few weeks." I was shocked! Was Joey misbehaving? I thought things had been going so well! "Oh! Is he not listening?"
"No, it's not that. It's just the bathroom situation. He wouldn't let me take him. Oh, also we didn't get to do the memory verses with him today."
Oh my gosh. I was so mad! I was SO mad. I couldn't believe how ridiculously, unprecedentedly mad I was. She didn't get to the memory verse with my Joey, who had been practicing and practicing and excited to tell them to the teacher to earn an apple sticker?!? and she wants me to sit in on the entire class, just because 15 minutes before Cubbies ends he has to go pee?! That would distract him from the whole thing and he'd try to sit by me the whole time and talk to me. I know Joey.
That's when I thought of all the times my mom was upset about our teachers growing up and how I thought she was being silly. Oh my gosh. I get it now. BECAUSE...
All week, I had been stressing about the fact that Joey wouldn't go to the bathroom with her. What if he wouldn't go to the bathroom with anyone else?! How would I ever leave him anywhere ever?! How could I help him get comfortable with the idea at home when it's just us!? and what would it be like this week at Cubbies when I sat in on class with him?!
Fast forward to Wednesday night. There was a different teacher there. The teacher that was there for the first three Cubbies classes. Apparently since that, she rotates with teacher B every other week.
(Me) "Hi. So, I guess we've been having some issues with Joey going to the bathroom."
(Her) "What? That's news to me. I always take Joey right before story time."
(Me) "And he goes with you?"
(Her) "Of course!"
(Me) "The teacher last week told me that I need to sit in on the class."
(Her) "What? That's completely unnecessary!"
(Me) "That's such a relief to hear. Thank-you. I feel so much better. Also, last week Joey never got to do his verses."
(Her) "Oh no!"
(Me) "He has them memorized still from last week, and this week's. So I was wondering if you have time if you could go over them with him so he can earn his sticker."
(Her) "Of course! I'm always amazed with Joey's memory verses!"
OH. MY. GOSH. Talk about relief! All the things I was worrying about with Joey just *poof* went away, and it was all because of a different teacher! I don't know exactly how I'm gonna approach the teacher this coming Wednesday, but I think I'll just ask her if she can take Joey to the potty before story time. I'm going to tell her to just text me if there are any problems and I'll talk to Joey this week about how going with the new teacher is okay and not to worry.
Also, Joey earned a new badge this week and he was pretty stoked. :)
One confession I have is that I. love. letting. the. kids. watch. T.V. It's terrible. I let them watch 15 minutes in the morning while I shower and 20 minutes while I'm cooking and it has seriously saved my sanity. And they look SO cute when they're watching.
Let's see, OH! Here's a piece of news. We might be moving in the next 10 days. And I really really really really hope that we are. Our lease is almost up, and I found a place that's bigger (1250 sq feet instead of 880) with two bathrooms, secure parking, air conditioning, and a washer and dryer in the unit. Umm, I'm gonna jizz my pants just thinking about it. and it's the SAME price and in my fantasy location. Like, my ultra ultra fantasy. It's called Rivermark area. Everything around the area is brand new. The schools, the houses, the apartments, and they're mostly luxury apartments, so it's all ultra rich (and to me rich = safe) people living there.
Where we would be living is not even a 1/4 mile away from two beautiful parks, a brand new library, a huge field, and a grocery store! And restaurants! I would never have to drive anywhere! And there's a super cute elementary school within a short walk. because, omg. Joey's going to be five in less than two years.
Oh man. I really hope we get this place. We've got a showing tomorrow at 11:00. Basically, in my opinion, as long as no cockroaches, I'm in.
We went to the area yesterday to hang out at the park/go to the library and I met a really nice girl who moved here six months ago from Russia. She reminded me of me after we moved here. She was so eager to make friends and so grateful that I talked to her. It's a hard spot to be in when you first move to a new place. I suggested exchanging contact info at the end of our chat and she was so happy and said, "Your family needs to come over for dinner! My husband is far more outgoing than I am!" haha it was so cute. I really hope that it happens. :)
Super dark picture of the kids at the library reading books. Frankie saw Joey reading and wanted to be just like him. :)
Something so sad happened at the park. Joey never cries at the park. Even when he's hurt, he dusts himself off and keeps going. He's just so happy to be there! So, when he started walking slowly toward me bawling his eyes out, I knew something really got to him. I thought he had hurt himself, but someone had hurt his feelings which to a mother is 5000000x worse.
"Those guys called me a monster." he said, pointing to the playground.
"They said, 'He's a monster! Run!'"
Oh my gosh. I was so sad for my little Joey's heart! Obviously, I told him he's not a monster and that he's a good boy and they were just playing and didn't mean to be unkind and that I was so sorry it made him feel sad. I told him over and over again that he's a good boy and they'd be lucky to have him as a friend. Oh my gosh. When I hugged him, I started silently crying! Is this what it's like to be a parent!? This wasn't even one of those hard moments where your kid gets left out, or someone at school decides randomly that they don't like them. It was just two kids playing and Joey could've easily become the monster and played right along with them, he just doesn't understand that yet!
Womp. Being a parent has such joys and such heartache already. and Joey's only three.
Oh! Something else along these lines slightly:
On Wednesday nights, Joey goes to Cubbies from 6:30-8 pm. Cubbies is age 3-5, so Joey's the youngest kid there. Last week, we had worked so hard on his memory verse, and review verse, and Cubbies motto, and he had everything memorized (as always) to earn his sticker.
Last Wednesday I got a text message at around 7:45 saying that Joey had to go potty, but he wouldn't let anyone take him and could I please come take him. I thought that was kind of weird, but I obviously came and took him to the bathroom, at which point he had already slightly peed his pants.
After Cubbies, his teacher said in this awkwardly condescending way, "Yaaaa, we're gonna need you to come sit in for the next few weeks." I was shocked! Was Joey misbehaving? I thought things had been going so well! "Oh! Is he not listening?"
"No, it's not that. It's just the bathroom situation. He wouldn't let me take him. Oh, also we didn't get to do the memory verses with him today."
Oh my gosh. I was so mad! I was SO mad. I couldn't believe how ridiculously, unprecedentedly mad I was. She didn't get to the memory verse with my Joey, who had been practicing and practicing and excited to tell them to the teacher to earn an apple sticker?!? and she wants me to sit in on the entire class, just because 15 minutes before Cubbies ends he has to go pee?! That would distract him from the whole thing and he'd try to sit by me the whole time and talk to me. I know Joey.
That's when I thought of all the times my mom was upset about our teachers growing up and how I thought she was being silly. Oh my gosh. I get it now. BECAUSE...
All week, I had been stressing about the fact that Joey wouldn't go to the bathroom with her. What if he wouldn't go to the bathroom with anyone else?! How would I ever leave him anywhere ever?! How could I help him get comfortable with the idea at home when it's just us!? and what would it be like this week at Cubbies when I sat in on class with him?!
Fast forward to Wednesday night. There was a different teacher there. The teacher that was there for the first three Cubbies classes. Apparently since that, she rotates with teacher B every other week.
(Me) "Hi. So, I guess we've been having some issues with Joey going to the bathroom."
(Her) "What? That's news to me. I always take Joey right before story time."
(Me) "And he goes with you?"
(Her) "Of course!"
(Me) "The teacher last week told me that I need to sit in on the class."
(Her) "What? That's completely unnecessary!"
(Me) "That's such a relief to hear. Thank-you. I feel so much better. Also, last week Joey never got to do his verses."
(Her) "Oh no!"
(Me) "He has them memorized still from last week, and this week's. So I was wondering if you have time if you could go over them with him so he can earn his sticker."
(Her) "Of course! I'm always amazed with Joey's memory verses!"
OH. MY. GOSH. Talk about relief! All the things I was worrying about with Joey just *poof* went away, and it was all because of a different teacher! I don't know exactly how I'm gonna approach the teacher this coming Wednesday, but I think I'll just ask her if she can take Joey to the potty before story time. I'm going to tell her to just text me if there are any problems and I'll talk to Joey this week about how going with the new teacher is okay and not to worry.
Also, Joey earned a new badge this week and he was pretty stoked. :)
The best picture I could get of Joey after Cubbies "drinking" his Goldfish crackers and running on a bench after running around playing tag with other little Cubbies.
One confession I have is that I. love. letting. the. kids. watch. T.V. It's terrible. I let them watch 15 minutes in the morning while I shower and 20 minutes while I'm cooking and it has seriously saved my sanity. And they look SO cute when they're watching.
The End
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Tues&Wed (mostly) in pictures
Tuesday I was feeling super tired and pretty sick, so we had a home day. On days where we stay home all day it can be hard to find things to do for the kids until nap time. The kids were both in really good moods and we did a lot of reading, playing cars, being silly, singing, and cleaning up together. It was a really nice morning with lots of laughs.
On days that we stay home, the dress code is pretty ridiculous.
Featured: Frankie in Joey's basketball shirt, doggy pants, and the underwear she insisted on putting on over her pants.
Featured: Joey in daddy's "cool hockey shirt"
In their undies before nap sharing a 'Funky Monkey'
On days that we stay home, the dress code is pretty ridiculous.
Featured: Frankie in Joey's basketball shirt, doggy pants, and the underwear she insisted on putting on over her pants.
Featured: Joey in daddy's "cool hockey shirt"
In their undies before nap sharing a 'Funky Monkey'
After nap time, we ventured out to the grocery store because I'd been making kind of sad meals over the last few days and I was feeling good for the first time in over a month, so I wanted us to have something nice for dinner. Joey was so excited when I told him I was making salmon .He's obsessed with salmon. Probably because we don't have it very often, so it's a special treat for him. He was jumping up and down at the counter as we were leaving and saying "MOMMY! I'M SO EXCITED FOR SALMON!!!" It was really cute.
For dinner we had one of my favorite kind of meals: salmon, good bread with oil and vinegar, and salad with lots of croutons. This is also Stuart's favorite kind of meal, so we had a nice dinner together :)
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For dinner we had one of my favorite kind of meals: salmon, good bread with oil and vinegar, and salad with lots of croutons. This is also Stuart's favorite kind of meal, so we had a nice dinner together :)
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Today was a different story. We needed to get out of the house after being home almost all day yesterday... at least, I did. Especially since the weather is getting SO nice here. It used to be 100 degrees most days and now it's cooled down to about 75 as a high (mid 20's) so, it's nice to be out with the kids.
We went to Santana Row... my favorite place ever. You can get a nice cup of coffee and the sidewalks are super wide for scootering and there are restaurants and stores everywhere and all of the restaurants have outdoor dining on both sides of the sidewalk and the place is so... Europe-y or something and I just love the feeling of being there! Not that I've ever dined at one of those restaurants.... but, the food looks so good.
We went to Santana Row... my favorite place ever. You can get a nice cup of coffee and the sidewalks are super wide for scootering and there are restaurants and stores everywhere and all of the restaurants have outdoor dining on both sides of the sidewalk and the place is so... Europe-y or something and I just love the feeling of being there! Not that I've ever dined at one of those restaurants.... but, the food looks so good.
There's also a really cute play area that we spent a little time at, and a new fountain that the kids splashed around in. It was hilarious and so cute and Frankie got absolutely drenched, but whatever! I just stripped her down when we left and she was a-okay :)
Joey in the little play area. He kept saying, "Mommy! I climbed up to the top of my very favorite apple tree!" it was so cuteeeee
This picture makes me laugh. Frankie is such a funny little one
I could NOT believe that Joey got in on the action. He usually hates getting wet, and Frankie kept splashing him with her feet and his pants got wet and he barely got upset. He must have been in a really good mood.
O be still, my beating heart.
I guess the day isn't over, but it feels like the majority of ours is. The kids will probably sleep for the next couple of hours, then it's playtime, dinner making, chaos, and then Cubbies tonight!
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Yesterday!
Yesterday I was so, so, so sick in the morning. I had been up since 3:30 am and had no idea how I was going to function. It was a s-u-p-e-r busy day, too. We had planned to go paint pumpkins with a bunch of friends and their kids in Los Gatos at a park and I had been looking forward to it, so being a sick zombie really sucked. I thought I'd try to pull myself together.
After I got the kids all fed and dressed, I woke up Stuart to hang out with them while I ran to the store quickly to get a couple of pumpkins and some flowers for my friend that had recently gotten engaged (who would also be at the pumpkin painting event). I felt like I was going to simultaneously throw up and drop dead of exhaustion the whole time I was out shopping and after buying everything, I decided it would be better if we didn't go.
Buuuut, I came home and made a beautifulllllll arrangement of roses and hydrangea in a mason jar with a cute little ribbon and I had written a really cute card when I was up for 3 hours by myself in the wee hours of the morning, so we had to go.
The key, I've found, to going to any children's event is to have zero expectations of your children and that way, if it totally sucks or they don't want to do anything at said event, you're not entirely disappointed.
Joey had to pee the minute we got there and the park we were at had no washroom. His friend Chase ended up intently watching him whip out his wiener and pee. He thought it was so cool that he tried it, too. It was funny, but also I felt like puking which made it less funny.
Joey was interested in painting his pumpkin for approximately three seconds and Frankie spent the majority of the time with her hands in the paint and a sponge brush soaked with blue paint dangling out of her mouth. (HILARIOUS and GROSS).
Joey and his friend Julian went off and biked and scootered around the perimeter of the park for the rest of the time, while I sat at a picnic table with Frankie and had a super nice visit with my friends. It was so nice and relaxing and I was really glad that I somehow pulled myself together to go.
After I got the kids all fed and dressed, I woke up Stuart to hang out with them while I ran to the store quickly to get a couple of pumpkins and some flowers for my friend that had recently gotten engaged (who would also be at the pumpkin painting event). I felt like I was going to simultaneously throw up and drop dead of exhaustion the whole time I was out shopping and after buying everything, I decided it would be better if we didn't go.
The key, I've found, to going to any children's event is to have zero expectations of your children and that way, if it totally sucks or they don't want to do anything at said event, you're not entirely disappointed.
Joey had to pee the minute we got there and the park we were at had no washroom. His friend Chase ended up intently watching him whip out his wiener and pee. He thought it was so cool that he tried it, too. It was funny, but also I felt like puking which made it less funny.
Joey was interested in painting his pumpkin for approximately three seconds and Frankie spent the majority of the time with her hands in the paint and a sponge brush soaked with blue paint dangling out of her mouth. (HILARIOUS and GROSS).
Joey and his friend Julian went off and biked and scootered around the perimeter of the park for the rest of the time, while I sat at a picnic table with Frankie and had a super nice visit with my friends. It was so nice and relaxing and I was really glad that I somehow pulled myself together to go.
haha I look so sick and so tired in this picture, but whatever. it's an accurate representation. In this picture, Joey is shoving his face with Cheeto's that someone brought as fast as he possibly could because he knows that it's an unapproved snack in our family.
On the way home, Joey freaked the frick out because his buckle on his car seat was 'weird'. It's never weird. It's always the exact same. Some days he freaks out that it's weird and nothing I do can 'fix' it. I pulled over and pretended to adjust it because he was being so loud and obnoxious about and it seemed to convince him that everything was going to be a-okay. These kind of scenarios are more exhausting than they sound. They are way way way exhausting even when I feel great.
We talked the rest of the way home. Something that I love love love about Joey is that he always wants to have conversations in the car. He's always like "Mommy! Talk to me!" if we're being quiet and it's so sweet! He almost never wants to have music on, and always wants to talk about our day. Things we did. People we saw. Things we'll do when we get home. Books we'll read. Things he sees outside. I hope he stays like this for years to come.
All the way home I was trying to prep him for the fact that I needed him and Frankie to sleep in the same room for nap. This is something that they never do during the day and I knew it would rock his world. He always sleeps on our bed for nap and with Frankie at bedtime because they usually sleep slightly different lengths for nap and I want to make sure they each get the appropriate amount of sleep that they need. Today was an exception because I desperately needed to have a nap (something I never do obviously because when they're both sleeping I have nowhere to do it). I would just sleep in the bed with him, but it's impossible. Believe me. I've tried. I try to pretend I'm asleep and he climbs on me and pus his face right up to my face and I can feel him looking right at my closed eyes and he keeps saying "mommy! Mommy! talk to me!" hahahaha I just can't. It never works.
Anyway, I talked to him about it a lot on the way home and again after Frankie had gone down from her nap and I was reading his book, and it worked. He silently went into his room (as per my instruction) and laid down to sleep. It woke Frankie up somehow and she screamed for a couple of minutes before falling back asleep.
I fell asleep immediately and woke up an hour later feeling a million times better, made some cupcakes and shortly after that, the two of them woke up and we played until Stuart got home.
I ran around frantically trying to gather everything I needed to host a dinner for 12 at someone else's house. I wish I could host at my own house which would be a billion times easier because there's SO much I had to remember because I didn't want to impose at all on the friend who graciously offered up her space for me.
Once I finally had everything together and was at my friends house setting up, I felt like I could finally breathe and relax and start to enjoy the evening, which ended up being lots of fun. Oh, and it was also a surprise birthday party for my friend Chelsea, who never had childhood birthday parties because her parents are slightly insane. We made it like a kids birthday party. I wish I had pictures of the food I made because it was so pink and sparkly and ridiculous and the theme we decorated was Disney princess!
We talked the rest of the way home. Something that I love love love about Joey is that he always wants to have conversations in the car. He's always like "Mommy! Talk to me!" if we're being quiet and it's so sweet! He almost never wants to have music on, and always wants to talk about our day. Things we did. People we saw. Things we'll do when we get home. Books we'll read. Things he sees outside. I hope he stays like this for years to come.
All the way home I was trying to prep him for the fact that I needed him and Frankie to sleep in the same room for nap. This is something that they never do during the day and I knew it would rock his world. He always sleeps on our bed for nap and with Frankie at bedtime because they usually sleep slightly different lengths for nap and I want to make sure they each get the appropriate amount of sleep that they need. Today was an exception because I desperately needed to have a nap (something I never do obviously because when they're both sleeping I have nowhere to do it). I would just sleep in the bed with him, but it's impossible. Believe me. I've tried. I try to pretend I'm asleep and he climbs on me and pus his face right up to my face and I can feel him looking right at my closed eyes and he keeps saying "mommy! Mommy! talk to me!" hahahaha I just can't. It never works.
Anyway, I talked to him about it a lot on the way home and again after Frankie had gone down from her nap and I was reading his book, and it worked. He silently went into his room (as per my instruction) and laid down to sleep. It woke Frankie up somehow and she screamed for a couple of minutes before falling back asleep.
I fell asleep immediately and woke up an hour later feeling a million times better, made some cupcakes and shortly after that, the two of them woke up and we played until Stuart got home.
I ran around frantically trying to gather everything I needed to host a dinner for 12 at someone else's house. I wish I could host at my own house which would be a billion times easier because there's SO much I had to remember because I didn't want to impose at all on the friend who graciously offered up her space for me.
Once I finally had everything together and was at my friends house setting up, I felt like I could finally breathe and relax and start to enjoy the evening, which ended up being lots of fun. Oh, and it was also a surprise birthday party for my friend Chelsea, who never had childhood birthday parties because her parents are slightly insane. We made it like a kids birthday party. I wish I had pictures of the food I made because it was so pink and sparkly and ridiculous and the theme we decorated was Disney princess!
this is a picture of ten of us (Chelsea is in the sash). My two friends came and aren't part of the regular group and since this was of the core group the two of them took the pictures!
The night was super fun even though I threw up twice and immediately after I got home. This pregnancy is turning out to be a real b!
Monday, October 17, 2016
The last few days
The days have just been cruising by. Everything is such a blur, and since my unwelcome wake-ups have been happening at 3:30 am instead of 5:30 am, I try to go back to sleep and don't end up writing. But, good news for the blog and bad news for me, I got both today!
Let's see. I'm gonna try to think of some highlights of Joey and Frankie from the last few days if I can remember.
Wednesday we got home from Chilliwack and Joey was so happy to be back to our place. It was nice to see because I know he really enjoyed being in Chilliwack, too and I was worried that he liked being there better and somehow it wasn't good for him to be so far away and blah blah blah, just the things that parents worry about. But, he's so happy to be back in our little place and be just our little family unit and it's nice and makes me feel once again happy about our decision to be in Santa Clara.
On Wednesday night, Joey went to Cubbies (Awana), which I think, in retrospect, was a little too much action for one day. (early morning wake-up > drive to Bellingham > plane > shuttle bus > drive from Oakland > nap > dinner > Cubbies and super late bedtime)
Oh! Typing that reminded me that Joey got to pee on the side of the road on the way to the airport. We got stopped at the border for a super long time, which made us really late, and he thought it was so cool that he could pee in gravel beside some big rig trucks and he still brings it up. We were so late, in fact, that I had to run in frantically with Frankie (because she wasn't yet on my ticket as a lap child, and if we didn't do it at the counter we had no idea what would happen) and the lady was just about to leave the ticket counter and said "Wow. You're lucky." while Stuart and Joey ran in behind us!! How many times has this happened to us? Sheesh. I don't even want to admit. It's hard to know when we need to leave to catch a flight in Bellingham, because the border hates us since we're Canadians living in the US and we never know if/how long they're going to talk to us for and if they're gonna make us go into the border building. And we don't know how long the border line up will be at any given time and blah blah blah.
Having said that long winded thing, when we're all in the truck together on that 2 hour journey to Bellingham airport, it sure is nice for Joey to get to know his Opa and spend time just being together with no distractions. I think it's so good for everyone. It makes me so happy just to think about it that I feel like crying at how much the little moments mean! WAH I'm so hormonal. hashtag life is beautiful.
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Thursday one noteworthy thing about Joey is that DUDE, this kid. Okay, it's kind of sad because I was going to say that he's so demanding and blah blah blah, but come on. The thing he usually demands and I usually can't do for him actually is breaking my heart. He always wants me to hold him. I think it's because I'm always carrying Frankie and he feels jealous. and oh my gosh it's making me so sad right now that I have to tell him I can't! But, I honestly can't carry both of them! and a lot of the time Frankie needs to be carried! Awkwardly carrying 70 pounds worth of children, one of which is squirming, and another one in my belly in 85 degree weather while feeling super sick is just not a reality I want.
I've been trying hard to put my foot down on things lately. It's so hard because Joey always says "Mommy? Can you hold me, just because you love me?" and I have to say what? "No."???? YES that's exactly what I have to say. Soooo, we were at this awesome park in the morning, just the three of us. It was super hot, I was feeling super barfy, but the kids were having so much fun and I met a couple of cool moms there, so all in all it was great.
So great, in fact, that it was past two before I realized what time it was. And Joeys nap is usually around 1. Oops. Disaster waiting to happen. Especially since he had been up until 9 the night before.
After I shleped them both to the bathroom for Joey to pee and for me to change Frankie's diaper, we had a 1/4 mile journey back to the car. Joey demanded to be held and I told him that I could give him a big hug (something I try to do when he asks me to be held. I don't want to just tell him no! I want him to feel the love!) hugged him, and then said, you need to walk now. It's not too far! You can do it! blah blah blah. He was screaming and crying so hard and saying "Mommy! You get back here and carry me. RIGHT NOOOOOWWWW!!!!!" and honestly I was so hot and feeling so sick that I wasn't at all embarrassed of his actions and the situation wasn't stressing me out at all. I just kept slowly walking and saying, "Joey. We're leaving. I need you to walk. I love you. You can do it." and he slowly, slowly walked and screamed and cried all the way to the car. We made it. I felt like the whole thing was a success and I was so proud of myself for sticking to it and being loving but firm. and it worked! and guess what? The next day we went to a friends house and on the way back to the car, Joey asked to be carried, and I told him that I love him and that he's a big boy and can walk and he screamed for all of two seconds before complying! VICTORY! But then, when we got home from the friends house (Friday) he said sadly as I was unbuckling him, "Mommy? Why can't you carry me anymore?" IT. WAS. THE. SADDEST. THING. IN. THE. ENTIRE. WORLD. Oh my gosh. I can't even think about it. Good thing he likes to hug and cuddle up to me. Those days aren't over. But the fact that the days of carrying him are over are so sad :(
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Friday was nice!
I went over to a friends house and actually got to talk to my friends (Cheryl, Sandie, Jessica, Veronica) and everyone brought a bunch of food and the kids had a great time.
I have to admit, I was pretty jealous of Cheryl's apartment. It. is. gorgeous. and a huge 3 bedroom with a playroom. and her furniture is so nice and she's so crafty and has super cute stuff all over her walls. Then I remembered that one time she said she has a spending problem and that duh, I could have all of this stuff, too. But then we'd be super in debt and I wouldn't be able to enjoy it. I looked the apartment at home online to see if it was something Stuart and I would be interested in and guess what the rent was for a 3 bedroom at that place?!?!?!?!? FOUR TO SIX THOUSAND A MONTH. Uhhhh, I don't think we'll be livin that large anytime soon. But, it sure was nice to go over there!! When we got back to our dinky apartment with weird carpeting, a weird smell, and all hand-me-down furniture, I felt oddly comforted by it all. It totally felt like home.
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Saturday
I thought that Stuart had been up late doing taxes (yes, they were due in April, but the extension we filed for is due today) so, I let him sleep as long as he wanted and I had the kids solo all morning. I was feeling so sick. But, I got a lot done. We went to target and I got all the food that I needed for tonight. I'm hosting dinner for 12 girls that I play Bunco with once a month (but, I'm hosting at my friends house). So, getting all the ingredients for dinner and dessert all in one shot was ultra satisfying. Joey, of course, had to go to the bathroom half way through when we were on the other side of target and we looked like three maniacs running all the way across the store to get there.
The secret to being a mom of tiny kids is to see the comedy in everything that you're going through. So many things are so weird and terrible that they're actually completely hilarious. And more often than not, I laugh during those bizarre times where I think "what the heck must we look like right now?" and I honestly, more often than not, laugh when I see myself in a mirror in a public place when I'm with the kids, because I look SO disheveled and tired that I barely recognize myself.
It turned out that Stuart just stayed up ultra late because he was being annoying and not thinking and ended up sleeping until almost noon at which point I said "take the kids out for an hour, I'm having a bath. Bye." I decided not to be angry with him because, really, what's the point? and he felt really bad.
In the evening it was raining and Stuart suggested that we get takeout. (something we never do). Nothing looked good to me, but I found an awesome pizza place that was 20 min away, so we ordered a pizza from it and all piled in the car to go on a rainy night drive. It was so much fun! Joey was really excited about it and asked on the way there if we could eat it at the pizza place. I thought it was so cute that he wanted to do that! He kept saying, "I don't want to bring it home! Can we eat it at that place?" So, we decided to sit down there and have a slice, which turned into having the whole dinner there and the kids were both behaving so nicely!
Of course, on the way home I started feeling super weird, and after we did the first of our nightly rituals with the kids (clean up and bible) I had pinned Frankie down to brush her teeth (she actually loves it and thinks it's hilarious), I bent down to brush them, and promptly ran to the bathroom and barfed my guts out. That's when we decided we need to switch kids when it's teeth brushing time, because bending down like that always makes me sick.
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Sunday
I. was. so. sick. yesterday.
I was up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night feeling sick, and when I woke again with the kids, nothing had changed. Except I started to get a headache. But, the show must go on. Playtime, breakfast, and getting dressed for church ensued. Joey had a freak out before we left and was screaming like a banshee. My head was pounding and I was trying to keep my cool, but everything in me wanted to scream at him to STOP CRYING, but I knew that would only make things worse.
As soon as we got to church I had to take Joey to the bathroom and Stuart took Frankie down to the nursery. He screamed and cried the WHOLE time over EVERY. LITTLE. THING. I didn't take the toilet paper off the roll right. He wanted to take off everything below his waist in order to go. He had to poop and then didn't even do it. I ended up forcing his clothes back on as he flailed around screaming and crying, jamming his hands into the sink to wash them, and carrying him stiffly up the stairs to singing with his class while he screamed and cried in my ear. I handed him to a teacher, went downstairs, and barfed.
I told Stuart what happened and he went up to check on him and I went into the service. I felt like crying. I was so exhausted and feeling so sick. Stuart came back and showed me this:
Let's see. I'm gonna try to think of some highlights of Joey and Frankie from the last few days if I can remember.
Wednesday we got home from Chilliwack and Joey was so happy to be back to our place. It was nice to see because I know he really enjoyed being in Chilliwack, too and I was worried that he liked being there better and somehow it wasn't good for him to be so far away and blah blah blah, just the things that parents worry about. But, he's so happy to be back in our little place and be just our little family unit and it's nice and makes me feel once again happy about our decision to be in Santa Clara.
On Wednesday night, Joey went to Cubbies (Awana), which I think, in retrospect, was a little too much action for one day. (early morning wake-up > drive to Bellingham > plane > shuttle bus > drive from Oakland > nap > dinner > Cubbies and super late bedtime)
Oh! Typing that reminded me that Joey got to pee on the side of the road on the way to the airport. We got stopped at the border for a super long time, which made us really late, and he thought it was so cool that he could pee in gravel beside some big rig trucks and he still brings it up. We were so late, in fact, that I had to run in frantically with Frankie (because she wasn't yet on my ticket as a lap child, and if we didn't do it at the counter we had no idea what would happen) and the lady was just about to leave the ticket counter and said "Wow. You're lucky." while Stuart and Joey ran in behind us!! How many times has this happened to us? Sheesh. I don't even want to admit. It's hard to know when we need to leave to catch a flight in Bellingham, because the border hates us since we're Canadians living in the US and we never know if/how long they're going to talk to us for and if they're gonna make us go into the border building. And we don't know how long the border line up will be at any given time and blah blah blah.
(This is actually a pic of Joey on our last day in Greendale, but it's the only one I have close to the day we left)
I will say one thing, the ride to the airport is always my favorite time to spend with Stuart's dad. He's always so busy with his dogs or whatever he does. Chores outside. Making people coffee. Talking on the phone. He's never around a lot when we're out visiting, which is totally fine! I get it, he's got his stuff goin' on. It used to bother me, but now I just kind of think a different way. He worked so hard on his farm for his whole life and raised not one, not two, not three, but four.... FOUR boys, and now the dude needs to do what he wants to do! Over the last 5(ish?) years he's been tasting independence and been free of responsibility for the first time in his life. I say, good for him!Having said that long winded thing, when we're all in the truck together on that 2 hour journey to Bellingham airport, it sure is nice for Joey to get to know his Opa and spend time just being together with no distractions. I think it's so good for everyone. It makes me so happy just to think about it that I feel like crying at how much the little moments mean! WAH I'm so hormonal. hashtag life is beautiful.
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Thursday one noteworthy thing about Joey is that DUDE, this kid. Okay, it's kind of sad because I was going to say that he's so demanding and blah blah blah, but come on. The thing he usually demands and I usually can't do for him actually is breaking my heart. He always wants me to hold him. I think it's because I'm always carrying Frankie and he feels jealous. and oh my gosh it's making me so sad right now that I have to tell him I can't! But, I honestly can't carry both of them! and a lot of the time Frankie needs to be carried! Awkwardly carrying 70 pounds worth of children, one of which is squirming, and another one in my belly in 85 degree weather while feeling super sick is just not a reality I want.
I've been trying hard to put my foot down on things lately. It's so hard because Joey always says "Mommy? Can you hold me, just because you love me?" and I have to say what? "No."???? YES that's exactly what I have to say. Soooo, we were at this awesome park in the morning, just the three of us. It was super hot, I was feeling super barfy, but the kids were having so much fun and I met a couple of cool moms there, so all in all it was great.
So great, in fact, that it was past two before I realized what time it was. And Joeys nap is usually around 1. Oops. Disaster waiting to happen. Especially since he had been up until 9 the night before.
After I shleped them both to the bathroom for Joey to pee and for me to change Frankie's diaper, we had a 1/4 mile journey back to the car. Joey demanded to be held and I told him that I could give him a big hug (something I try to do when he asks me to be held. I don't want to just tell him no! I want him to feel the love!) hugged him, and then said, you need to walk now. It's not too far! You can do it! blah blah blah. He was screaming and crying so hard and saying "Mommy! You get back here and carry me. RIGHT NOOOOOWWWW!!!!!" and honestly I was so hot and feeling so sick that I wasn't at all embarrassed of his actions and the situation wasn't stressing me out at all. I just kept slowly walking and saying, "Joey. We're leaving. I need you to walk. I love you. You can do it." and he slowly, slowly walked and screamed and cried all the way to the car. We made it. I felt like the whole thing was a success and I was so proud of myself for sticking to it and being loving but firm. and it worked! and guess what? The next day we went to a friends house and on the way back to the car, Joey asked to be carried, and I told him that I love him and that he's a big boy and can walk and he screamed for all of two seconds before complying! VICTORY! But then, when we got home from the friends house (Friday) he said sadly as I was unbuckling him, "Mommy? Why can't you carry me anymore?" IT. WAS. THE. SADDEST. THING. IN. THE. ENTIRE. WORLD. Oh my gosh. I can't even think about it. Good thing he likes to hug and cuddle up to me. Those days aren't over. But the fact that the days of carrying him are over are so sad :(
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Friday was nice!
I went over to a friends house and actually got to talk to my friends (Cheryl, Sandie, Jessica, Veronica) and everyone brought a bunch of food and the kids had a great time.
I have to admit, I was pretty jealous of Cheryl's apartment. It. is. gorgeous. and a huge 3 bedroom with a playroom. and her furniture is so nice and she's so crafty and has super cute stuff all over her walls. Then I remembered that one time she said she has a spending problem and that duh, I could have all of this stuff, too. But then we'd be super in debt and I wouldn't be able to enjoy it. I looked the apartment at home online to see if it was something Stuart and I would be interested in and guess what the rent was for a 3 bedroom at that place?!?!?!?!? FOUR TO SIX THOUSAND A MONTH. Uhhhh, I don't think we'll be livin that large anytime soon. But, it sure was nice to go over there!! When we got back to our dinky apartment with weird carpeting, a weird smell, and all hand-me-down furniture, I felt oddly comforted by it all. It totally felt like home.
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Saturday
I thought that Stuart had been up late doing taxes (yes, they were due in April, but the extension we filed for is due today) so, I let him sleep as long as he wanted and I had the kids solo all morning. I was feeling so sick. But, I got a lot done. We went to target and I got all the food that I needed for tonight. I'm hosting dinner for 12 girls that I play Bunco with once a month (but, I'm hosting at my friends house). So, getting all the ingredients for dinner and dessert all in one shot was ultra satisfying. Joey, of course, had to go to the bathroom half way through when we were on the other side of target and we looked like three maniacs running all the way across the store to get there.
The secret to being a mom of tiny kids is to see the comedy in everything that you're going through. So many things are so weird and terrible that they're actually completely hilarious. And more often than not, I laugh during those bizarre times where I think "what the heck must we look like right now?" and I honestly, more often than not, laugh when I see myself in a mirror in a public place when I'm with the kids, because I look SO disheveled and tired that I barely recognize myself.
It turned out that Stuart just stayed up ultra late because he was being annoying and not thinking and ended up sleeping until almost noon at which point I said "take the kids out for an hour, I'm having a bath. Bye." I decided not to be angry with him because, really, what's the point? and he felt really bad.
In the evening it was raining and Stuart suggested that we get takeout. (something we never do). Nothing looked good to me, but I found an awesome pizza place that was 20 min away, so we ordered a pizza from it and all piled in the car to go on a rainy night drive. It was so much fun! Joey was really excited about it and asked on the way there if we could eat it at the pizza place. I thought it was so cute that he wanted to do that! He kept saying, "I don't want to bring it home! Can we eat it at that place?" So, we decided to sit down there and have a slice, which turned into having the whole dinner there and the kids were both behaving so nicely!
Of course, on the way home I started feeling super weird, and after we did the first of our nightly rituals with the kids (clean up and bible) I had pinned Frankie down to brush her teeth (she actually loves it and thinks it's hilarious), I bent down to brush them, and promptly ran to the bathroom and barfed my guts out. That's when we decided we need to switch kids when it's teeth brushing time, because bending down like that always makes me sick.
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Sunday
I. was. so. sick. yesterday.
I was up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night feeling sick, and when I woke again with the kids, nothing had changed. Except I started to get a headache. But, the show must go on. Playtime, breakfast, and getting dressed for church ensued. Joey had a freak out before we left and was screaming like a banshee. My head was pounding and I was trying to keep my cool, but everything in me wanted to scream at him to STOP CRYING, but I knew that would only make things worse.
As soon as we got to church I had to take Joey to the bathroom and Stuart took Frankie down to the nursery. He screamed and cried the WHOLE time over EVERY. LITTLE. THING. I didn't take the toilet paper off the roll right. He wanted to take off everything below his waist in order to go. He had to poop and then didn't even do it. I ended up forcing his clothes back on as he flailed around screaming and crying, jamming his hands into the sink to wash them, and carrying him stiffly up the stairs to singing with his class while he screamed and cried in my ear. I handed him to a teacher, went downstairs, and barfed.
I told Stuart what happened and he went up to check on him and I went into the service. I felt like crying. I was so exhausted and feeling so sick. Stuart came back and showed me this:
(Joey's the one in the orange hoodie)
It was so cute and just the thing to make me feel so much better. Stuart and I laughed quietly to ourselves and I almost started to cry.
After service, Stuart and I volunteered for second service in the two year old class and I was feeling so sick. When we all went upstairs for singing, Joey's class was there, too and he sat on my lap the entire time and obviously I loved every second of it.
After second service, I ran to the bathroom and barfed. I didn't even get to close the stall door andddd a woman that I greatly admire was standing at the sink annddd I was mortified, but she at least had the decency to pretend I wasn't barfing in front of her and she left the bathroom.
When we got home, the kids went down for their naps and I was so sick and exhausted, but had to cook and bake literally all afternoon for the dinner/surprise party tonight. It was kind of awful, and kind of kept my mind off of how sick I was feeling.
When the kids woke up from their naps we had a nice quiet family evening and the kids were in great moods, and we were in great moods, and it was really nice.
The end!
After service, Stuart and I volunteered for second service in the two year old class and I was feeling so sick. When we all went upstairs for singing, Joey's class was there, too and he sat on my lap the entire time and obviously I loved every second of it.
After second service, I ran to the bathroom and barfed. I didn't even get to close the stall door andddd a woman that I greatly admire was standing at the sink annddd I was mortified, but she at least had the decency to pretend I wasn't barfing in front of her and she left the bathroom.
When we got home, the kids went down for their naps and I was so sick and exhausted, but had to cook and bake literally all afternoon for the dinner/surprise party tonight. It was kind of awful, and kind of kept my mind off of how sick I was feeling.
When the kids woke up from their naps we had a nice quiet family evening and the kids were in great moods, and we were in great moods, and it was really nice.
The end!
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