Poor Poor Pitiful Me

I was sick all of Christmas time. Well, that's not entirely true.
December 17th we arrived at my in-laws at 11:30 pm. It was so good to see them and we were excited! The next day everyone was healthy.  We went to my parents house for lunch and had a really nice time with Jesse, Sharalin, Anika, and Ben. My mom made SUCH a good lunch and we had SUCH a nice time. I'm glad I'm writing this out to recall, because this day really was a good day.

After the kids woke from their naps, we went to a restaurant to celebrate Stuart's parents 40th Anniversary.  It was... challenging. But also nice. Frankie and Joey were both going a little nuts from going to bed so late the night before and with us all being non stop busy with family as soon as we got there, and the meal at the restaurant lasted almost THREE hours! THREE hours! and a bunch of courses. With a one year old and a three year old this is no easy feat. I spent the hours entertaining the nieces, which was nice because I really love those little girls! And feeding Frankie and Joey of course. And trying to run after a Frankie who kept trying to escape. and occasionally taking a bite of food. And feeling frustrated and overwhelmed and a little upset that I wasn't with all the other adults enjoying their wine and not having to try to scarf down their food and participating in adult conversation. Buuut, this is the phase of life I'm in right now and they're all out of the phase and have older kids, so they should enjoy their time in the sun. I would just like to have a glimmer of that life again. Some day. like 6 years from now.

We went back to Dueck's for dessert around 8:30, which was WAY way easier because they kids could run around and play and I could sit with everyone and talk.  It ended up being a really nice evening there and the kids went to bed around 9:30/10:00.

And that's when it allllllll started.

Frankie woke up around 2 and I thought she was choking on her soother or something because she sounded terrible.  Stuart leapt up and started patting her back, as I watched,  horrified, as she barfed ALL over the pack-and-play, floor, and rug in a trail all the way to the bathroom after her realized what was going on in his delirious state. He held Frankie while I cleaned up the stinky, gross puke that was everywhere, rinsed the linens and put them in the washing machine (cuz you definitely don't wanna let that sit...) found fresh sheets and blankets, and we put her back to bed. 30 minutes later, the charade started all over again with more explosive puking. Once again, Stuart held Frankie while I put the other linens in the dryer, cleaned up all the barf, rinsed the new linens, put them in the washing machine, and took the cleaned linens and put them back in the crib.  Needless to say, it was a long night.

The next morning, Frankie seemed okay. She didn't have much of an appetite, but I chocked her throwing up on her having eaten a lot of rich foods at the restaurant that she isn't normally exposed to.

That day, Joey and Stuart spent some more time in the snow and Frankie and I putzed around in the house with Stuart's parents. I don't really remember what happened the rest of December 19th... Oh! I went to the mall during the kids naps to get a couple of last minute Christmas presents. And then at 5:00, Vanessa picked me up and we went to Cactus Club with Candace, who announced her pregnancy! Yahoo! We're all pregnant right now, which is pretty cool :) But, of course, Vanessa lives in Chilliwack, Candace lives in Langley, and I live in California, so we never see each other. But, it's still nice! :) We had a lot of fun and laughs at the restaurant, and unlike going out with my kids the previous evening, the three hours we spent sitting, laughing, and reminiscing went by in the blink of an eye. I brought Stuart home a blizzard and we hung out for a while,

The next morning was a nice quiet morning again at Dueck's.  At around 12:30, we put the kids down for their naps and Stuart and I went out for Sushi with Andrew, or 'Uncle Andrew' as Joey calls him.  Again, a super nice visit over lunch and nice to be out with Stuart.

When we got back to the house, the kids were up and playing and Andrew realized he had locked his keys in the car and had to stay for dinner. At dinner, Joey was acting weird and not eating the salmon that I kept raving before the meal that he would eat a tonne of, as it's his favorite meal. He refused to eat even a bite and said 'his mouth tasted weird' and I knew something must be wrong. After begging to be excused, he went over to the toys and started crying so hard. My poor guy had barfed all over a rug.  He was so distraught and I really don't think he's ever puked before, so he was confused and angry at me for not stopping him from doing it. :( "Mommy, why didn't you just make me not do it? Why weren't you with me?" etc.) It was so sad.  Then he threw up again. Then again and again. I put him to bed right away and Frankie hung out in the room with us while I put him down with a bucket beside him.  He was sitting up and asked me to count from a million to a million two hundred and twenty five.  I knewww this was him not wanting me to leave because he was sick and probably scared, so I rubbed his back while Frankie hugged me and counted.  By the time I got to a million two hundred and twenty, he barfed again into the bucket. And then again a few minutes later. I left to clean the bucket and talk to Stuart after laying Frankie down in her pack-n-play and when I got back in the room, he was sitting up again.  I sat by his bed and asked him if he had to throw up and he said no. I put the bucket in front of him and he was so upset with me. I think just because he was scared to throw up again. And sure enough, he did.  And then I led him to the bathroom and he threw up again, but this time it was so hard that it went through his nose and hurt his nose so bad and was stuck in his nasal cavity. He was bawling and telling me to get it out, which of course, I couldn't do.  I tried to suck it out with a boogie sucker thing, but that just made him freak out more. It took a long long time to settle him down and back to bed, but then he was okay.

He woke up once and sat up for a long time, but didn't throw up.  But I knew his tummy still felt unsettled.  The next day he acted fairly happy, but didn't have much of an appetite until right before his nap when he ate a small bowl of plain Cheerios.

At 3 pm, Stuart and I were in the TV room and I had the sudden urge to barf my brains out. Annnd I did.  This went on every 20 minutes for the next 9 hours. I've NEVER been so sick in my life. At around 10, feeling super dehydrated, I took a gulp of water that immediately exploded out of my throat and all over the floor. It was crazyyyy. I don't even know how I barfed for so long, as I had nothing left in my stomach whatsoever and I just kept retching and retching until about 12 am.  Stuart had gone to the movies with his brothers, so there was no one there to be with me. Well, Stuart's mom was, but it's not the same. I can't whine and complain to her and get babied and snuggled the way I needed to be, so I was feeling super sorry for myself.

The next day (the 22nd) was supposed to be the Christmas gathering at my parents house, and I phoned my mom around 10 and told her there was no way I'd make it.  She said she'd reschedule it for Christmas day and I felt so guilty because then my brother and his family wouldn't be able to make it as they already had another gathering to go to.

Stuart came home around 12:30 from the movie and laid with me in bed and I was finally able to calm my body down enough to fall asleep.  The next day I had no appetite and was more exhausted than anything from all my body had been through the previous day.  My dad came and took the kids first thing in the morning, which I was so grateful for, and I slept pretty well the entire day.  When I went to pick up the kids, I tried to have some chicken broth and promptly threw it up.  Stuart had plans again that evening with his brothers, so once again, I was sick and alone. I wanted him to go out. He said he'd stay home and that it would be no problem, but he had this night planned for a long time and I didn't know when the next time we'd be back in Chilliwack was and I didn't want him to suffer just because I had to. But, it still sucked :( I went to bed at 8:30 and had a super good sleep.

The next day was the Dueck gathering. I still was feeling pretty crappy and once again didn't eat all day.

Oh man. It's been a couple of days since I wrote the last time and I already don't feel like writing the rest of this post. RATS!

I guess I'll just do the rest as briefly as I can.

Christmas Eve: 
In the morning Jessica and Hinley came over and the kids played while we hung out. It was nice, but weird. I feel like so much of our lives have passed by since we last talked. It's been longer than ever that we've gone without talking (I think like three months!) so, not that it was awkward, but it felt like our friendship isn't what it used to be and it kind of bums me out. and I kind of think, meh. It is what it is.

In the afternoon while the kids were napping, Stuart came with me to run errands and I'm SO glad that he did. I was going to go on my own and have a pity party about not feeling good, but having him there made it fun.

Christmas eve night at the service JOEY. WENT. NUTS. He hated every living second of the service from the minute we walked into church. I haven't seen him have a tantrum like that since like a year ago. crying and yelling. yelling and crying. "I WANT TO GO! I DON'T WANT TO STAY HERE!" or my personal favorite, when the singing started, "MAKE EVERYONE STOP SINGING THIS SONG!" and crying his brains out. in my arms. while I held him with a vice grip. 15 minutes into things, and after having him calm for a little while, I could tell he was starting to get really anxious and stressed out again, just by the way his body was tensing up. He said quietly, "Mommy, I don't like this." and I knew the next thing that would happen is him crying and yelling again, so I just thought, 'You know what? The rest of Christmas has been a crap shoot. Why should I enjoy the Christmas eve service?' and took him downstairs to the nursery to play. (There were no workers there, so I couldn't have left him if I wanted to. Not that I wanted to because he wouldn't have known anyone and it would have been stressful for him all over again).

When I was downstairs with him, I got to talk to some super sweet other moms my age and their little ones, and it was actually not so bad. It just didn't feel like Christmas. Joey was so tired. I don't know why he was so tired! The service was at 5pm! He collapsed into my arms downstairs and said, "Mommy. I'm so tired. I just need to sleep." and he looked it!

When we got back to my parents house and everyone was getting ready to take pictures, I stripped Joey down and whisked him off to bed. My mom was disappointed because she wanted him to open his presents with everyone else. But, guess what? He. Needed. Sleep. End of story. I'm glad I made that decision. Stuart told me to keep him up, but I've never seen him so deliriously tired and unable to have a handle on his emotions as a result. I knew keeping him up = more meltdowns with no one to adequately deal with them but me and feel judgement raining down on me by my family members (whether perceived or real) and I wasn't about to be that frustrated, exhausted, sensitive person on Christmas eve night because at that point, I knew I couldn't really handle any more challenges.

The rest of the night went really well! The kids opened 2 small presents (I LOVE that our family doesn't do over the top gifts) and my brother and I each got a check from our parents. Super nice of them! And then we ate good food and played fun games until almost midnight! A fun time had by all!

Christmas Day:Frankie woke up at 6ish and I was sooo tired to go and get her because usually I try to go to sleep at 10 in anticipation. But with the late night, I was exhausted! But also excited because... well, it was Christmas day! I took her downstairs and played with her. It's so nice to play with only one of my kids in a completely quiet house first thing in the morning. There's something so peaceful about that I just love!

An hour and a half later, Joey woke up and wanted to open his Christmas present from Omi and PA. He was SO excited and it was adorable!! My mom came downstairs and watched him open it and then I got breakfast ready for the kids.

The morning was nice. Just playing and eating and the kids were really sweet, happy, and well behaved.

My mom realized she had forgotten a spice for her stuffing, so Stu, the kids, and I went over to Dueck's to say hi and borrow it. (Poultry Seasoning). I was actually really glad to have an excuse to go over there because I think they were slightly disappointed that they weren't going to see the kids on Christmas morning. It was SO nice going over there and we ended up staying for an hour or so.

When we got back, my grandparents were there and we visited together and with the kids. It was really nice to see them.

Right before lunch, I put Frankie down for a nap, which was SO nice for me because my parents don't have a high chair and her being at lunch with us would have meant me trying to feed her the whole time on my lap and having her squirm around or try to leave and head for the stairs.

Lunch was so enjoyable with my Oma, Opa, Uncle Dave, Grandma, Grandpa, my parents, Stuart, and Joey. Suddenly, it felt like Christmas time. The stars aligned. Suddenly, I sunk in my chair and was able to truly relax (and feel good!) for the first time in four days and just enjoy.  It. was. awesome.

Joey went down for a nap right after lunch and the adults hung around visiting, eating dessert, and drinking coffee for the next hour.  Of course, by 2 pm all of the elderly needed to be on their way and it was just us again. But, for that two hours of lunch and dessert, it was the most perfect Christmas I could have asked for.

At 5:30, we headed back to home base (Dueck's) and I made Stuart and I something small to eat after we got the kids tucked into bed at 7.  Stuart and I cuddled up and watched a movie. It was just the perfect day. <3

Boxing Day:I woke up in the middle of the night completely congested with a sore throat. I knew things were too good to be true!

Joey, Frankie, and I went over to my parents house first thing in the morning because I had forgotten my presents for my sister in laws. I'm really glad we went over there because it ended up being the last time we saw them before heading back home.

By the time we got back to the house, I felt sicker than before and at 9, everyone started arriving for the Christmas festivities to commence.

For some reason, Frankie needed me to hold her all day long and wouldn't let me put her down, and I was getting sicker by the minute.

The day was really actually super nice and everyone was so fun to be with and the food was great and everything was awesome, but I think I was just so burnt out. I was getting sicker and sicker and by the evening (yes, the event lasted from morning until night) I had chills, a headache, and couldn't breathe at all out of my nose. And a 30 pound Frankie was hanging off of me. And I was trying to be social. And do laundry. And pack. (We had to leave the house at 5 am the following morning).

Luckily, my knight in shining armor swooped in at 8 pm and said, "I'll do all the rest of the packing and organizing, you just relax." I needed so badly to hear that. And I knew I could fully trust him because he is a master organizer and I so am not. And I knew he wouldn't forget a single thing we brought or a single present and he'd make it all fit because he's amazing at that. I wouldn't have made it without his help.

Airport Day:
I was feeling sicker than ever. Woke up at 3 am and thought I might as well just stay up until we had to leave at 5 because I couldn't breathe anyway. BUT at 3:30, I came to my senses and went back to sleep for a little while.

I was in the back with the two little sweeties (who do SO WELL EARLY IN THE MORNING) they are SO CUTE WHEN YOU WAKE THEM UP EARLY!! Frankie just gets all giggly, and Joey says the funniest things with his puffy little eyes and his bed head and his tiny little smile) and Dueck's kept talking to us, but I was SO hot in the back (I think from being sick because everyone in the front had winter jackets on) and SO tired that I didn't answer anything they asked me and had my eyes closed.

The cuteness of our sweet children was what kept me from giving up at the airport as I went through all the lines deliriously and feeling sick. The need to take care of two other people while you're feeling sick really gives you an inner strength to push through when you wouldn't have been able to on your own.

The plane ride was so hard. Frankie got overtired and was crying her brains out in my arms and she finally conked out 15 minutes before we landed.

When we finally got home sweet home at 11:30, both kids went straight down for a nap.

WE WERE HOME!

I spent the next ... well, 4 days I guess since today is the 31st, being ultra sick, but 2 days ago, I got some antibiotics and am on the road to recovery. Yahoo!

Christmas Time is Here

Christmas time around here has been non-stop fun. And non stop busy! And Frankie and Joey have been terrible nappers this week!

On Monday we went to my friend Ana's family tree farm for a Christmas party/gift exchange for the kids. It was SO much fun. I. Love. My. Friends. We've formed such an awesome community!  I've known most of the 3 year old's you'll see in the pictures from the time they were 2 months old. :) And I mean, know them know them. Since almost none of us have family here, we get together. A lot. Me and the other moms know things about each others families, know each others parenting woes, and intimate details about each others marriages (Thank you, wine) hahaha

Anyway - yup! Love these ladies. Love their kids. I'm so freaking lucky to have this amazing group of women in my life for so many reasons. And a lot of them weren't even there! This is just a few!

I know I've said this before, but the one thing that I would change would be that there would be some BOYS around for my sweet Joey.  He needs some boys in his life.  Girls are so.... girl. They're so different even at three years old from the little boys and Joey gravitates toward boys. And the girls gravitate toward other girls! Sigh. At least we have Julian! <3

Joey after he found his present hidden in the Christmas trees.

Diggin' in the dirt (he could have done this all the live long day)

Original Frankster and her dinosaur puzzles (She LOVES T-Rex's)

The gang! 

The rest of the week was so lovely with the kids. We went to the YMCA for Next Step two mornings this week, one class of 123 Grow, and one class of Ready, Set, Read. I didn't take any pictures one of the days. It's really hard to take pictures at classes like these because you're not supposed to get any other kids in the picture (YMCA Policy) and I'm just so busy playing with the kids and talking to other moms. Anyway - I got a couple of pics! 

One thing that I have zero photos of, and will have some once Petra puts pictures up on facebook is our annual (and CHAOTIC) Christmas Cookie Exchange.  It was a lot of fun and craziness. My friend Sandie hosts it each year because she's got a super nice house that's wide open and we can be in the kitchen the entire time and still see the kids no matter where they are.  Wait! I do have one picture of the egg nog fudge I made:

I don't really like it. It was a new recipe. It smelled good, though! haha oh well. It was easy to make. And the weirdest thing ever was that half the people there had never heard of fudge. Who's never heard of fudge?!?!!? Weirdos. So, when you have no idea what fudge is and you're expecting a cookie and take a giant bite, obviously it's gonna be WAY too rich and sweet. You're only supposed to take a tiny bite at a time, freaks. Haha. 

The afternoon after leaving the cookie exchange was a nap time disaster and the kids barely slept at all. BUT it was worth it because the exchange was super fun and nice and everyone had a great time. Joey never wanted to leave. He told me we could set up a bed and he could nap at Sandie's so we wouldn't have to go. hahaha! 

Here are a couple random pics from the other days this week:

The kids LOVE these foam stickers! They've had so many cute crafts at the Y lately and I've been so impressed with their new teacher, Brittany. 

What we do at home. In the morning we keep all the lights off except for one. Then Joey excitedly runs to the couch, lays down and turns his head away. I make a trumpeting sound and plug in the Christmas tree and he turns around and freaks out excitedly about the lights. Every. Morning. It's so stinkin' cute. I have 7 big candles up on the ledge beside the Christmas tree in our front entry way (just for Christmas time) and I light all the candles in the morning and Joey and Frankie both LOVE it so much and it smells soooo good and so Christmas-y! 

I kind of wish we weren't going back home for Christmas, and surprisingly so does Stuart! As our family grows and gets older, it sure is nice to be at our own place at Christmas time.  We're our own independent entity now. hard to believe that day has already arrived! 

Joey painting at Ready, Set, Read

Frankie only painting in the tray at Ready, Set, Read. Haha! What a mess!

hahaha <3 Frankie and Natalie outside the YMCA hangin' out.

Frankie has been so clingy at nap time lately and wanting to be held and swayed to sleep - something I haven't done for her since she was a little baby.  I LOVE doing it, but I can't do it when I have to get Joey down for a nap next because they go to bed pretty much at the same time.

Joey had SUCH a hard time listening before nap time yesterday, which is unusual for him. I think I've just gotten used to him listening to me all the time and when he doesn't it makes me sooooo upset.  He went into Frankie's room right after she fell asleep and started being so noisy and woke her up! I was SO mad.  When she finally had calmed herself down, Joey was in the bathroom.  I went in and reminded him to be quiet and he SLAMMED THE TOILET SEAT DOWN. and it woke her up again and she was screaming.  Omg. I was so, so, SO, SOOOOO mad. I said in a super angry, quiet, seething voice, "Mommmyyyyy isssss veryyyyy angrrrryyyy" and it scared Joey so  bad that he fell to the bathroom floor bawling and saying "Mommy, you're scaring me." Wow. Disaster. Frankie's screaming in one room and my three year old is naked on the bathroom floor scared of me. Siiigh. I hugged him for like 15 minutes after that and told him that even though I feel angry at him, I still love him and blah blah blah. I don't think I've ever been quite so mad at him, though. 

After that long episode, Joey finally went down for a nap. And then I went into the room Frankie was sleeping in and calmed her down for a good 20 minutes.  She was SO precious, though. Like, the most precious in the world. She had her little head nuzzled into my neck and her whole body just sunk into me as I swayed her around. Omg. Most precious moments ever.

When I got out of there... s-t-a-r-v-i-n-g, I heard Joey. He never fell asleep and he was yelling that he had to go wee wee.  He went to the bathroom, went back in our bed (he sleeps on our bed for nap) and I went to go relax.  He started yelling and talking, but I thought 'Hey, at least he's in the bedroom' and that maybe he'd tire himself out. About half an hour later, Frankie starts making noise (I don't know if she ever fell asleep) and Joey yelled at the top of his lungs, "MOMMY!! CAN YOU WASH MY HANDS??? SAY YES, OR NO!" I wondered why on earth he needed me to wash his hands.

What I walked into, I could not have expected. It was the funniest scene imaginable.  A very serious, remorseful Joey was positively glistening, covered head to toe (he sleeps only in a diaper) in Vick's Vapor Rub.  It took everything I had not to laugh.  I said in a quiet voice, "Joey. What did you do?" and his lip started quivering as he tried to talk and he burst into tears. OMG it was so cute, sad, and funny.  I hugged him on the bed for SO LONG while he calmed down. Probably a good 20 minutes of calmly explaining to him (while his head was buried in my chest) that Vick's is medicine, not lotion and we only put it on our chest and only when mommy is there to help. He, of course, knew all this, hence the crying when I found out what had transpired.  I went on and on about how much I love him and how we all make mistakes and blah blah blah and he was loving every delicious morsel of my affection.  Suddenly, I felt his body start to become heavy.  He was getting super sleepy while I was talking to him and rubbing his back. I lay him down and told him that I needed to give him a special bath before he went back to sleep and to wait quietly. I came back with a warm, wet towel and washed the Vick's off his little body, sang a million Christmas ballads, and told him it was time to sleep. And he did.  Of course, Frankie was still awake and had started to cry, so I went back to her room and swayed her around for another 20 minutes.  By the time I was out of there and sat down, it was only 15 minutes before Joey started crying because I forgot to turn on the fan before I left our bedroom. Annnnd then Frankie started crying. I just got them both up because it was a lost cause.
Anyway, here's me, ultra tired:

Annnnd I have to go now cuz my kids just started screaming for me. BUT first, here's my 18 week bump!

I've gained 8 pounds so far, which feels like a thousand and looks on the scale like... well, like a number that I only see when I'm pregnant and hate more than anything. BUT, I love how huge i'm getting. I actually am loving my pregnant body this time around, which is something unexpected and awesome. I just wish I never had to see the number. womp. BUT! It's all good. In 5 more days, we get to find out the sex and see our little one in the womb! Soooo excited. 

Bodies

I was just reading one of those rando facebook-esque articles about 'how to talk to your daughter about her body' and the advice was:
Don't talk to her about her body, except to tell her how it works. Don't comment if she's lost weight or gained weight. And don't talk to her about how much you dislike your own body.

And now I want to talk about my parents. Guess what? My parents never made a comment on my body one way or another until I was losing about 7 pounds a week.When I hit 100 pounds? My mom started screaming at me at the dinner table to eat. 95? She tried bribery. 90? Doctors visits.  What I'm saying is, they never commented on my body. Ever. And I still ended up with an eating disorder.  My mom never commented on not being satisfied with her body either. I can't think of one instance where she said anything self deprecating.  This is actually remarkable because... well, she's a woman. I'm sure she had these thoughts.

I don't know what I'm trying to say. Maybe those of us who have had eating disorders were predetermined to. Maybe it was just in our DNA and inevitable. It's a mental illness. People with other mental illnesses don't blame their parents, do they? The thing is, if you sat a hundred women in a room and interviewed them separately, asking them to recall a time someone has commented on their body that had a lasting effect, probably all of them would have a laundry list of comments from relatives and classmates throughout their childhood and adolescence.

The difference about those of us who had an eating disorder? We obsessed over these comments and used them as fuel.  Sure, negative body comments likely caused insecurities in all women; maybe some that were even damaging to their sense of self worth. I'm not discrediting the effect of words on everyone. I'm simply saying that those that have had eating disorders have a distorted perception that may have been triggered by comments, but the comments themselves did not cause the disorder.

A person may argue that, unlike other mental illnesses, people 'get over' anorexia/bulimia. I'm here to tell you that people that think this have never had an eating disorder mind.  I will never 'get over' the obsessive battle in my mind over food and exercise. I have been given tools through psychiatric treatment to defeat these hundreds of daily battles going on in my mind, but never will I fully conquer the beast.  It's one small battle at a time. I'm terrified that I'll get exhausted and give up the battle and end up back where I was.  But, right now? I'm winning.

It's Christmas time in the Cityyyyyy

Every morning when Joey wakes up, the first thing he says is, "Let's turn on the Christmas tree!"
And then we turn this on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxdjeFYrih8 and Frankie and Joey both go NUTS with happiness.
I've been blasting that youtube '3 Hours of Christmas Music' for the past three years in our house because it's a good variety of all the greatest Christmas songs and it has a nice winter scene slideshow and Frankie goes crazy when she sees a picture of horses in the snow and it's the cutest thing on earth.
What? What else can I say about life right now? It's December 1st. WHAT?! Insanity.  I. LOVE. Christmas time with Joey (and Frankie of course) but Joey just gets so freaking excited. Like, when he's dancing around to Christmas music with me,  sometimes he'll just shout out "MOMMY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT!" and he's super excited about all the lights and he was even excited to see Santa!
Last week we went and got the kids picture with Santa because there's this awesome place (Bass Pro Shop) that gives you a free Santa photo and super cute picture frame.

Santa was only a 2 on the creepy Santa scale although in the pic it looks like he's more of a 7.  He was so sweet to Joey and when he asked him what he wanted for Christmas, Joey was literally laughing while he told him all of the things he wanted because he was so excited. Oh, and what he wanted was 3 of the cars that we've lost (one of which we've found since his encounter with Santa), one of which he'll be getting in his advent calendar, and one that Frankie dropped into the toilet and I flushed down. Oops. Oh, also... Frankie was completely terrified of Santa. As you can clearly see.

Also, as a Christian parent, I feel like I'm doing a good job. There are lots of things where I feel like I'm doing something wrong as a parent, but instilling Christian values in Joey isn't one of those things. We pray so much and read the bible every night.  He goes to Sunday school and loves it every week and mid week he goes to Awanas, which he LOVES more than life itself and learns memory verses like it's his job!  He works hard and takes it seriously and earned two more badges yesterday on his Cubbies vest.  I'm always amazed at the amount of verses stored in his brain that he can bust out at a moments notice because of Cubbies! Love my little bible boy.

Don't ask why he stuck his head in the railing.... he's a boy. That's why! haha Oh, and that sticker on his hand? He got it for being a superstar listener and helping the teacher hold up a poster board during story time. wahhhhhh.  I love him so much!

---

We've been going to a lot of Next Step at the YMCA lately.  I want to try to take Joey there Monday-Thursday and slowly have him get used to the idea that one day I won't go with him anymore. He learns interesting things about neighbors, teamwork, honesty, etc etc and they have a different 'value' they talk about every day.  Oh, and recently they started doing teamwork games and the kids are all way into it! It's SO cute to watch. And he's started actually practicing writing letters when they go to the five minute practice sesh, which is awesome! He even did his homework with me two days ago (practicing capitol and small a's and coloring) and got a prize! So fun! 

A game where the kids all got a playing card and had to get sorted in order of lowest number to highest. Joey's looking at himself in the mirror ;) Joey looks short because a lot of the kids there are 4  

There is little in this world that Frankie loves more than elephants (and fish)

Frankie's way too young for the class (it's 3-5 year olds) but, when it comes to Joey's craft, she's in there like swimwear

I love this picture so much because Joey still looks like such a little baby in it <3 He IS still such a little baby. How?! How is he THREE?!

Grandparents

Run! Run! I just wasted so much time doing random blah blah's on the internet. I hate that feeling! and it's not even 7:30 am! What have I done with my life?!

I'm a little freaked out cuz I'm super stuffed up and it's killing me softly. It's super common to get stuffed up when you're pregnant. My mom has MAJOR sinus issues that run in her family, and she's had a couple of sinus surgeries. She told me that she didn't have ANY sinus problems until she was pregnant, so anytime I feel like this in pregnancy, I'm terrified that it'll never end and that will be the end of my life as I know it. Here's hoping it passes, because permanent sinus problems sounds like the most annoying problem to have.

Also, why are all the grandparents having so many problems in my family? My Oma recently had surgery (she has cancer) and it really took a toll on my Opa's health; just all the stress of it, I guess. And now, since she's been home from her surgery and desperately needing rest and care, he's been in the hospital twice (in one week) because he's had major trouble breathing and his blood pressure keeps either spiking or dropping way too low.  It's been really stressful and emotional for my parents - my mom because she's basically been my Oma's support system through her whole cancer journey. She's driven her to all of her appointments, explained what the doctors were telling her, called and followed up with clinics, etc. and it's definitely been an emotional time.  It's been exhausting/hard on my dad because... well, his dad could die at any time.

 Could you imagine if your dad was dying?!?!? your DAD?! They're supposed to be invincible. Dad's are like the original super hero's of our lives that are supposed to do everything, not be scared of anything, and of course, be immortal. He's spent a lot of time with my Opa; helping him with things that he needs around the house because of course my Oma is in recovery and can no longer do all of the million things she used to do for him on a daily basis. This has been hard for my dad because my dad, much like my Opa, is used to being the dotee, not the dote...r. He has now declared my Oma a saint.  This? This is one of the reasons why I'm so thankful that I have a daughter.  In my dad's family there are only three brothers. Say what you will about gender just being a label, men in general are not nurturers and caretakers.  My dad and his brothers don't know the first thing about taking care of another human being in the way that a woman could. Let me rephrase that... it doesn't come naturally to them.  My dad and his brother are 100% willing and trying their hardest, but the whole selfless thing doesn't come natural to them.  I'm thankful to have a dad (and an uncle) who is willing to put in the time and effort to make sure his parents are comfortable, and also for a mom that pushed him to do so in the first place.

And now my mom tells me that my Grandpa was in the hospital with excruciating pain for the second time this week.  Something about his gall bladder. So my mom was in Peace Arch over night last night making sure everything was okay.

My grandparents are falling apart.
My parents are absolutely exhausted.

And I never look forward to the age of craziness that comes when all the parents are in their late 80's. And I'm sad for my grandparents. And sad for my parents.

And Stuart's Opa died on Thursday.  And he's sad. He's going to the funeral on Friday and coming home Saturday.  As much as I want to be there beside him, it's hard with the kids and also hard that it's happening so close to Christmas and we're going back in just 2 weeks again.  So, he'll make a quick trip of it. I feel so sad for Stuart's mom because now she's lost both parents.  Luckily, she has three sisters that she's very close with to talk to.  This is just another reason why siblings are so important. You need them so much in times like this (I'm assuming!).

Thanksgiving Week

Croup

November 23rd Frankie woke up super early in the morning gasping for air. It was super scary.

Previously, Joey had a really bad night time cough that we e-mailed our doctor about.  We weren't alarmed with Joey because he's had respiratory issues since he was a baby and we're used to it with him and usually know what to do since he has two puffers on hand in case he has a flare up. The doctor said it sounded like Joey had croup, but we weren't worried because his cough was mostly contained to a barky coughing episode every couple of hours and he didn't have any trouble breathing.

Croup is viral, though and Frankie got it shortly after Joey was finished with it and it hit her little system so much harder because she's littler.  Croup can definitely be scary because she was literally having trouble breathing.  It was the longest drive to the emergency ever.  Stuart obviously stayed home with Joey, so it was just me and Frankie at the hospital.  They gave her a 'breathing treatment' which is basically adrenaline that you inhale for a good fifteen minutes. (I held a wand and she breathed it in) She actually did really well. I thought she might squirm or turn her head away, but I think she enjoyed the mist in her face and it actually calmed her down.  After that she had some steroid medication orally that would stop any inflammation and we sat in the emergency room for three hours while they monitored her because they wanted to make sure her heart rate didn't spike from all of the adrenaline.



It was a long three hours because she was super upset about having a monitor thing taped to her big toe and I was exhausted and couldn't even stand up from some kind of nerve pain I've been experiencing in my leg that had flared up the night before so bad that I was literally crawling around the house because walking was too painful. Super bad timing.



Anyway - that happened early Wednesday morning and I didn't want to risk infecting any of my friends kids with the virus at our Thanksgiving gathering that we've had planned and organized for over a month. I was so excited about it and looking forward to it for weeks. But, things happen and I'm so glad Frankie is a-okay.

Thanksgiving

Thursday (thanksgiving day) we were invited to family friends for thanksgiving (in lieu of being able to go to our friends thanksgiving) and no kids were going to be there, so it was safe for our family to join.  I was so so so happy that we had another gathering to go to, because it would have been depressing to be home on thanksgiving by ourselves, especially since I hadn't gone out and gotten anything special to prepare for Thursday except for the side dish that I was going to bring to the other event.

My silly kids while I was cooking just had to be in the kitchen with me :) 

Thanksgiving at the Heath's was awesome. The only downsides were that I was feeling really pregnancy sick and barfed three times while we were there after barely eating and Joey didn't have any nap because of the timing of the meal and he was acting like a crazy guy, running around the house yelling half the time.  Yikes! But it was so nice to be there that all the niceness of the whole thing overshadowed the hard parts.

(Black) Friday

Yesterday was a nice 'home day' for our family.  I think I read to Joey, without exaggeration, for probably three hours total. And Stuart and I got to have some alone time with Frankie (a rarity) in the afternoon because she woke up an hour earlier than Joey did from her nap.

Something fun and cool that happened yesterday was that I went out with my friend Chelsea for a walk on my favorite trail for two and a half hours and it was so fun. We never ran out of things to talk about! I really like her and we're going for a walk again today and are going to try and make it a super regular thing, which I'm completely stoked about. Yay!!

16 Week Bump!
Hey! Tomorrow I'll officially be 16 weeks. Baby is the size of an avocado now! Hereeee's my bump! and my super dirty pants! haha

Hospital Visit

You know my jean shorts? Come on, you do. They're pretty much all I wear in the summertime. Well, today I need to pack 'em away because they officially don't fit me anymore! I mean, I haven't attempted to wear them in a good three weeks, but now it's confirmed! I need to go shopping for some bigger clothes!
I think my belly has gotten smaller.  I think it might be because when I could finally eat something again, I would get super bloated I looked ultra pregnant, but now my body has figured out that it'll be receiving food on a regular basis and doesn't bloat like it did at the beginning. So, I look like a normal pregnant person for 15 weeks! Horray! Also, I'm not so uncomfortable!
PS the baby is the size of an apple this week! And it's going to DOUBLE in size in the next 2 weeks! woooah, baby!

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Yesterday was a majorly busy day. Ryan and Janice (Ryan was the pastor at the church we went to when Stuart was doing his internship and Janice is his wife and also was the worship pastor) were good friends of ours when Stuart was doing his internship.  The church that we went to at that time was all but dead.  It had about 30 regular attendees who were... what's the nice word they use to describe weird people? .. ah yes, colorful. Ryan and Janice were amazing. He was the best pastor I'd ever heard and she was an amazing worship leader.  It was so odd to me that they were leading such a ghost town of a church.  We guessed (and I think we were right) that they weren't receiving much encouragement, so we would have them and their (then 15 year old) daughter over for dinner a few times, they came over for a thanksgiving turkey, and we treated them to a Stanford football game. We even watched the presidential reelection with them for hours the day we moved back to Vancouver when we should have been packing!

We got pretty close with them. We'd skype from Vancouver on occasion and I went back and stayed with their family for a few days and went to a women's retreat with some of the girls from the old church. I spent time with their whole family including out of town family, and lots of time with their daughter, Olivia. Looking back, they really were like family!

Before we moved back, a huge church hired Ryan as a welcome pastor and decided to keep the existing church that they were running and pour a bunch of money into it to make it really nice (it was super run down when we were there. I remember that painting the bathrooms was their big project haha).  So now, Ryan doesn't preach anymore. And Janice occasionally is in the background vocals up front. And it's really sad to me because they're both so talented and no one at this humongous church we goes to knows it.

They got busy with tasks and needs at the huge new church (we also attend this church), and we got busy with having babies.  Janice threw me a baby shower when we moved here, and they babysat Joey when he was two months old, but after that, things got busy for both of us and we stopped spending much time together at all. We'd hug at church and talk for two minutes, but since Ryan is the welcome pastor and Janice is his wife, they were busy with all the people needing their attention after church.

Two years ago, around this time, Olivia (their daughter) got really sick.  The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. She's had the most extreme case of Chrone's Disease for her whole life, which majorly suppresses her immune system.  But when she got sick the way she did, it wasn't Chrone's related and doctors couldn't figure out what was causing it and therefore couldn't treat it other than with an ng (feeding) tube and pain medication. She couldn't eat, threw up buckets of bile, and was in constant pain for over a month.  She lost so much weight. She looked like a ghost. It got so bad that they thought she might not make it. She was too weak to even walk and her body was rejecting even the food that was slowly getting pumped into her stomach.  She received a 'Make A Wish'.  It was during this time that Janice and I really reconnected. We would text and call a lot and I spent time (with Joey) at the hospital with Olivia and her and delivered a meal for their family.

 Eventually, Olivia got better and has only had small slides in her health since that time, It was her last year of high school and she had to finish it out with home schooling. We attended her graduation ceremony and a small dinner at their house. (I was very pregnant with Frankie).

Again, as life got busy, we've drifted apart with the occasional 'we sure do miss you!' text, or a quick hug at church and an offer to babysit or a general invitation to see their new house.  About a month ago, once again, Olivia has gone downhill. Really downhill. She's been living in the hospital and the pain medication she takes every two hours, which is stronger than morphine, is having almost no effect on her.

I went with the kids yesterday morning to visit and we stayed for two hours. I wasn't sure how the kids would react because they know Olivia and Joey is scared of her at the best of times, let alone with her lying in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of her.  I had been talking to him about Olivia and how she has 'an owie in her tummy that's making her so sick that she has to live in the hospital' and that we have to be 'extra kind and loving to her' for days. I think it really helped, because he was standing by her and even talking to her and didn't freak out once for the whole two hours that we visited! And he even told her that he loves her!

Janice looked so tired. I have never seen her look so spent. At the end of our visit, she said she had to go because she had to organize a Christmas event at the church and hadn't picked up any of the food and Olivia cried when they were hugging and kept saying "Don't leave me here alone" IT. WAS. THE. SADDEST. THING. IN. THE. WHOLE. WORLD.  It was already an hour past the kids nap time, but I said it would be no problem for me to run all of her errands for her.  She said 'No, no. It's okay. I'm sure your kids need a nap.' and I assured her it was no problem.  For the next two hours, I shlepped my half dead, verging on nervous breakdown kids to run errands and they barely survived! haha. I was sooooo exhausted.  It definitely screwed with their sleep big time, but if it meant Olivia not needing to be alone and depressed for another couple of hours, then it was definitely worth it.

WOW. That was an incredibly long winded way of saying what I did yesterday.

Life Just Keeps Chuggin' Along

Honestly, I can not believe how fast the weeks go by. Every Friday, I feel like it was just Friday.  I barely even remember what happened this week...
Oh! On Wednesday, Joey had his first dentist appointment. The place that I booked the appointment had a three month waiting list. Three months! And when we got there, I realized why. The place was amazing! Joey was treated like a superstar from the moment we walked in until the moment we left.  His hygienist was so good at making him feel comfortable with everything she was doing and was so engaging with him. I couldn't believe how well it went. Oh, and no cavities and perfect teeth! Yay!

My little superstar

The rest of the week just kind of flew by, with different activities includingggg tree farm, YMCA, various errands, friends house, Cubbies, Trinity Stay 'N Play, and lunches out because apparently I'm the incredible hulk now and need mass amounts of food.

Joey after Cubbies. He was running around and having so much fun with his little Cubbie friends (the name for the age 3-5 class) and I told him I was getting tired and that I wanted to go home soon and he said, "mommy! it's okay! you have a bed right here! See! It's really comfortable. I'll show you. You just lay down like this! There's a worm and a snake here and they're going to give you new cars from Cars!" hahaha it was so funny so I wanted to take a picture to remember it :) 

This is Joey and Frankie every morning. I never have my phone out in the morning when I'm with them because we are always just playing together, but I wanted to snap a pic to remember what a 'morning in the life' is like right now, because this literally happens for an hour every morning.  Joey lines up his trains or his cars from Cars. (Always one or the other) and Frankie destroys it while I'm getting their fruit cut up.  I give her a container and something different to play with and come sit on the couch with a cup of coffee and the kids cut up fruit and play trains (or cars) with Joey. We mainly just talk to each other (as trains/cars) about our smoke stacks, boilers, fireboxes, wheels, paint jobs, or chug on 'shake shake bridge' (the couch arm rest). The couch arm rest became the place to play because when I was sick earlier in the pregnancy, I always needed to sit down on the couch in the morning, so Joey and Frankie brought the party to me. And it's been that way ever since! 

Joey and Frankie together at Joey's morning class at the YMCA. Usually life is pretty busy and we make it to this class 2-3 times a week. (Next Step).  I could drop Joey off at the class, but for some reason I don't think he's ready for it yet. Either that or I just plain old don't want to because I love watching him participate. There are a lot of other moms who come to the class with their younger one and stay, so I don't feel bad about it. It's a great class! And Frankie loves watching!

Trinity Stay 'N Play. (Note how concentrated Joey is). Some of my friends say that they don't like coming because their two kids always end up in different rooms (there are different activities in different rooms) and it's hard to keep track of them. Frankie wouldn't even dream of being anywhere away from her cool big brother, so I never have that issue :) 

Joey and Ellie after Stay 'N Play.  There's 1/2 hour of singing at the end of the 2 hours and it's really well organized. Joey loves it and there's a felt board with visuals for every song.  We all went to In 'N Out burger after. It's our new tradition to do this after Stay 'N Play because there's one close by and I don't feel bad about feeding Joey a hamburger once every two weeks (Stay 'N Play is every other Friday). And the kids had a lot of fun! 

Just a funny pic of the kids being wild with daddy last night! :) 

And now it's the weekend! Horray! Stuart has a hockey tournament, the kids are getting babysat, and I'm going to an essential oil party at my friends house! :) Then we have a birthday party to go to! fun fun! 

Sweetness and Little Milestones

Joey is... he's amazing. He amazes me all the time with how he cares for others.
Sometimes I feel dizzy (pregnancy) and I need to lay down.  He will come lay down beside me and reassure me 'It's okay, mommy. You will feel better soon.  I'll get you some water and you will feel much better'.
Yesterday, Frankie and him were sitting on an ATV and he was telling her the 'rules' of being on an ATV.  'So, if you want to ride, you just ride, Frankie. I'll be with you the whole time.  You don't have to worry. Okay, Frankie? I will be here beside you the whole time, Frankie.' He said a lot more than that, but that's what I remember and I have some of it on video, too. :)
And he's such a sweet, nice little communicator. Ellie, one of his little friends was using a giant shovel and there was only one.  He took the end of it and she angrily said 'I don't need help!' I thought maybe he'd pull it or get upset, but instead he let go, moved to face her and said 'Okay. If you need help, just ask me. Okay? If you need any help, just ask.' Oh mannnnn it was cute.
Once, an older girl (4) was being mean to him at the YMCA and instead of retaliating or complaining to me, I heard him say, 'You're being unkind. You shouldn't be unkind to me.' wahhhh! oh my word. He's so sweet.
Last night I was out with some women and Stuart had some friends over. One of his friends, Justin, showed up earlier than Stuart thought and he hadn't put the kids to bed yet.  Joey told Justin that he should come sit on the couch with them to watch Bob the Builder and when he went to sleep, he went up to Justin and said, 'You can sleep wherever you just want.' haha! <3
He says the most precious stuff all the time. I'm sure i have a million more examples, but those are the ones from yesterday that stick out in my mind. These days I'm, more often than not, pleasantly surprised by his behavior and instincts.

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On a different note, but also something that I have to write down so that I remember around what age Joey started doing certain things: Joey can officially sound out words (read).  Just a month ago he started asking incessantly what everything he saw (on cereal boxes, notes on the fridge, billboards, etc) spelled. 'What does h-o-n-e-y spell?' and I make him sound out each letter with me and we figure out together what it spells.  He would ask probably 100 times a day for different words. Or he would do the reverse. "How do you spell arm?' for example. Now, he's starting to do it on his own. And not with just small words, either! I don't remember what he sounded out yesterday, but I remember it was a long word and I was shocked and so impressed!

Another thing he's been doing a lot of (probably the same amount or more than the word thing) is asking me about numbers. For example 'What does 2-2-7 make?' to which I reply 'two hundred and twenty seven'.  He's mastered identifying numbers he sees up to a hundred and has for the most part figured out how to say a number in the hundreds that he sees, and thousands isn't far behind, I'm sure! It's so interesting how his little brain is curious about this and how fast he learns. So cool.

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Something I need to write down for the Frankster is that yesterday she said her first 3 word sentence! (Nov. 14/16) It was so surprising and cute! She was standing in the kitchen with me while I was making pizza and I had been feeding her little pieces of cheese while I assembled it. I guess it had been a minute since I'd given her another bite and she said, 'More cheese, please!'  Up until then I'd barely heard her say much of anything and I was beginning to wonder when the heck she'd start talking! haha it was so surprising! But I actually remember having a similar experience with Joey! He had barely said anything and then one day I was driving with him after dropping Stuart off at work and I heard him in the back seat say, clear as a bell, 'one. two. three.' haha one of the most exciting moments of my life! :)

Things that make me happy

Hey! Here's a list of things that make me happy!

-Hiking... something that I NEVER do because I like to do it with people and no one that I'm friends with here likes it.  I started hiking a bit on a trail that I knew had a lot of foot traffic before I found out I was pregnant with Frankie, but it's way nicer to go with someone.

-Going for long walks or runs on the Los Gatos trail. (Also something that I almost never get a chance to do!) After I gave birth to Frankie, I would go to this trail once a week and run for a good hour and a half. It was the best feeling in the world and something I would look forward to all week. I'm hoping that I can do this once a week solitude thang again when the new baby comes because it helped me feel great and keep my sanity.

-My kids. Duh. Joey and Frankie are the sweetest, funniest kids in the world and they light up my life all day erry day.

-Stuart. I was gonna say, 'duh' but, I guess saying your spouse makes you happy isn't a given. But, Stuart makes me happy. We have so much fun hanging out and still have plenty to talk, laugh, and reminisce about after seven and a half years of marriage.  We have even more to laugh about with Joey and Frankie around :)

-Talking on the phone. Whenever I'm feeling bored or in a funk, talking on the phone always makes me feel great.  I love hearing about my friends and families lives from back home and I'm always reminded that I'm not all alone in times of... well, being alone.

-Shooting hoops. I had forgotten about this one for yearrrs and yearrrs. I don't know why it never dawned on me that this was something that I enjoy because I used to do it all the time growing up and it's so fun and makes me feel so happy! I've started doing this again a lot, and I hope to continue because it's been energizing me in a way that I didn't expect (physically and mentally) so, I'm stoked!

-The beach. Oh my gosh, sitting at a table by the beach and having breakfast with Stuart when it's still a little cold out????? If I could do that every morning I would die of happiness.  That sounds like my wildest dream.

-(along the same lines) Going out for breakfast and sitting outside!

- Playing piano. Which I never get to do and is something so seared into my identity, I feel a hole inside me without it.  Even thinking about it makes me feel anxious and kind of sick. I miss it really bad. And it's not like I can just go do it. And now I feel like crying.  We can't fit a piano into this apartment, and it would probably be too noisy for neighbors, but if Costco gets awesome keyboards again this Christmas season, I'm buying one. (and then I can plug headphones in so only I can hear it. It would be perfect for when the kids are napping).  I want to play again so bad and what I really want to do is go to nursing homes and play Christmas carols and talk to the old people after and omg that sounds so great.  BUT, if I have no where to practice (and no sheet music for that matter) I can't fricken do it.

-Listening to music. Let me tell you something. Growing up, listening to music is like all I did with my alone time. I'd listen to music and practice performing (singing and moving around a 'stage' in the mirror). This was literally my favorite hobby of all time from ages 5-17. Why do you think I did so well in the lip sync competitions? I was obsessed with music and performing.  Let me tell you something else. I almost never listen to music anymore. I don't even know what music I like anymore. It's been so long since I've listened to music or sang anything. The thought of that makes me feel sad, too.

- Being with my old friends.

- Christmas time

- Christmas eve at my parents house

- Camping

- When Joey's caring and compassionate

- When Frankie climbs on top of me and rests her head on my chest

- Weddings

- Watching TV while eating

- Ordering pizza and having it delivered right when starvation has me on the brink of insanity

- Giving presents to people

- Cooking


I'm gonna stop now, but I want to keep adding to this list because it's fun and a good reminder for when I'm feelin' blueeeee

A long awaited (by me) blog update!

Blogging in the mornings has become impossible because of daylight savings, and therefore I haven't done it all week. BUT, I think we're getting into more of a normal rhythm now because for the first time in a while, I'm up before the kids!

I also think we've found a resort that we want to go to in February. My brother and his wife went to this resort for their honeymoon and vowed never to go anywhere else because this place was so amazing.  When they went back for their fifth anniversary, it was equally amazing.  It's really expensive (in my opinion) BUT, then I realized that it was expensive in Canadian dollars, and that literally for us it's a thousand dollars cheaper! Which makes it totally within my mental budget. Sooooo, I'm incredibly stoked.

It's so ridiculous that literally all I've been doing with my free time is trying to find an awesome place at a good price and it suddenly dawned on me yesterday to ask Jesse about the awesome place he went. And then there's our decision. Haha. I could read tripadvisor reviews until my eyes pop out, but one family recommendation (especially one from the least easily pleased person in my family) and I'm there. Book 'em, Dan-o.

Everything this week has felt surreal and bizarre. Monday felt like Christmas eve.  I could not stop thinking about Tuesday. (Election day, duh.)  It was the longest day in the history of days.

Then, Tuesday. Well, everyone knows what happened Tuesday.  I really wish I were more surprised. And I really think that if Hillary had a penis, she would have won.  BUT, that's show biz. Unbelievable.

I listened to an NPR segment about some dude (can't remember his name) who's a journalist and a democrat. And also who hates Trump. He dedicated 3 years of his life during the campaign to flying all over America to different Trump rallies in all the states and interviewing people. He apparently has a tiny, junky plane that he piloted with his wife by his side for the whole adventure. Anyway - the hour long segment was about the new perspective that he gained (naturally) on middle America and why people there (and no, not just dumb people) believed in and supported Trump.  I wish I could remember the name of the dude so that you could listen to the segment. Or that I could re-listen because I was listening as I was driving, and got out of the car for 20 minutes in the middle cuz I had to go to Costco. But, it was interesting.

Obviously, people here in California (one of the NON Trump states, of which there were few) are somber.  We're talking, really upset. It feels like there's been a death and I don't know how long this lingering feeling will last.  But, it's eerie.

Eeeeyuck. Just thinking about the implications it's already had on justifying hateful acts toward different races makes me physically sick. I think I need to stop writing about this.

***IN OTHER NEWS***

Let me see if there's any 'in other news'.

Ummmmmmm. Oh, gee. I don't know.

OH, okay.

We've been going to the Y again for the past 2 weeks since I've been feeling better and I'm so happy to be back there! Their kids classes are so great and I love taking the kids to 123 Grow.  It's one hour. Half an hour of play time on tiny slides, teeter totters, tunnels, etc. 15 minutes of circle time where we sing songs with actions, then stretches and more singing standing up, then the 'Merry-go-round' song where you walk around in a circle, then prance, then run, and swing your kid around and they laugh like maniacs and it's SO cute, then obstacle course (2 small balance beams), then sticker, then parachute and 8 more songs, then the kids sit on a mat while soft music plays and watch bubbles come out of a bubble machine.  Then they get their arm (or, by most toddlers request, their tummy) stamped and class is over.  It's the cutest. I love it SO much and it's SUCH a good, fun bonding activity.

I like to take just Frankie to that class and leave Joey in the kids club because it's more meant for her age, but Joey really likes to come there with us still and he's so well behaved now (if you asked me when he had just turned three, I would say NO WAY) that I let him come with us most times.  It's just nice for me to get that alone time with Frankie that I almost never get.

On Mondays and Wednesdays, 123 Grow and Next Step don't overlap, so I take the kids both to Next Step, too. Next Step is the class for Joey's age group and it's an hour long mini 'preschool'.  There's free play table activities at the beginning (toys/puzzles/coloring/craft) and then circle time for the last half hour where the kids introduce themselves and say their favorite something, singing, a lesson and a story.  Then the teacher talks about a letter and the kids get worksheets to practice writing that letter. Just in the past 2 weeks, Joey has loved circle time and even participates in the singing and actions.  I'm so excited about it. Frankie and I just sit there while I stuff her face with snacks. She loves watching all the big kids and sitting near Joey.

Fridays is 'Ready, Set, Read' instead of Next Step, which is really similar to next step, except more singing, they don't learn about a letter, and there's a way cooler craft.  That's where we'll go today.

OH, and before I take the kids to those classes, I've been dropping them off in kids club for 45 minutes while I go play basketball. It's been so fun to play basketball again. Oh my goodness. I forgot how much I loved it! And it's always open gym in the morning and the gym is always empty and it's amazing.  I just practice lay-ups, 3 pointers, free throws, and blah blah blah. It's a good workout and I find myself running almost the whole time.  My calves are actually sore this morning. How sad is that?  I guess if you're not playing basketball, when the heck do you find yourself doing that much jumping? I'm gonna tell myself that's what it is and not the fact that I'm out of shape from doing nothing for almost three months while I was sick with this baby. :P

One super crazy pregnancy thing that happens to me from doing exercise though is that my groin hurts SO BAD for hour after I'm done. Like, it's hard to walk! Your joints get super loose when you're pregnant, sooo it makes sense that it would hurt, but I definitely don't remember this from my other pregnancies.

After doing that and taking the kids to their classes, we always sit outside with friends/acquaintances and eat our lunch at picnic tables while Joey scooters around and comes for bites after every few laps.

It's so much fun and such a nice routine and I love it and the kids love it, so horray!

The End!

'Camping'

Last night Stuart had the idea of setting up a tent in our living room.  I didn't think it was the best idea at first, but guess what? IT WAS THE BEST IDEA EVER.
Frankie was trying to destroy it the entire time he was assembling it and I was trying to ward her off, but once it was finally up and our air mattress was in and blown up it was awesome.
They bounced around Stuart and me while we lay inside (me SO tired and SO bloated. At night time i look about 5 months pregnant.) and they were being hilarious. Joey kept saying he was a flying cat and doing somersaults and Frankie was just being cute. They both couldn't stop laughing.
Around 8:45, we calmed them down with a bible story and then brushed their teeth and put PJ's on.
Stu positioned the tent so it was in front of the TV, and then we brought in blankets, turned off all the lights, and watched half an hour of 'Cars'.
When we turned it off and it was time to for Joey to go to bed for real (9:30) he said in the dark with sparkling eyes, "This is the best day of my whole life." OH. MY. GOSH. What a special moment!
WAHH.
It was so sweet. I wanna take the kids camping SO bad for real, but I don't think it will happen any time soon. By the time summer comes, we'll have a new baby! Maybe in a few years :)

Okay, fine. Here's the truth.

The real reason I have had a hard time posting lately is because all of my morning free time is spent looking and dreaming about a pimpin holiday to take with Stuart without the kids before the baby is born. THERE. I said it. It's not that I've been tired.

We've just been having SO much fun when we go out on dates and I miss spending that totally alone couple time with him! Last time we went back home, my dad said (and he never makes comments like this): "Vanessa. I've never seen you look this tired. You need a break. Leave the kids with us and go to Mexico again." (We did that a month before Frankie was born and it was heaven.on.earth.)

Sooooo, now I'm looking at Cancun all-inclusive's like it's my job. And this morning is no exception. So, peace out.

Halloween 2016

I don't know why I haven't written the past couple of days. I think things have just been so busy and I was exhausted!
Halloween was a great success. It was actually the most fun Halloween I've had with the kids (specifically Joey) yet. Joey loved saying 'trick or treat' and getting candy. Like, he loved it. And he happily wore his pirate costume! And whenever he'd look at Frankie in her butterfly costume, he'd say, "Aw, Frankie! You are just so cute!"

The morning of Halloween, we dropped Stuart's mom off at the Oakland Airport, so by the time we got to the morning trick or treat we'd already been driving a good hour and 45 minutes and were all itching to get out of the car.

I didn't tell any of my friends who were going to be there that we were going, because the Willow Glen trick or treat is an insane, chaotic event and I didn't want to have to try to stick together with them and I wanted to focus on the kids.  I'm so glad I made that decision because Joey and Frankie were happy the entire time.  Barnes and Noble had I guess donated a bunch of kids best sellers. It was amazing.  Joey got an awesome 'Thomas and Friends Treasury' and Frankie got a super cute Eric Carle book.  That was the highlight of the morning for this mama.

This was also the first year that Joey enjoyed (and even insisted on!) getting his face painted, and at lunch, the first time Frankie has eaten broccoli and enjoyed it. We had the best time at a restuarant together. It was chaos, but it was fun becuase the kids were being so funny and well behaved and I wasn't sick. The weather was perfect and the food was good!  It was just the perfect morning with my kids.

When we got home, Frankie had a long nap and Joey had.... no nap. I'm pretty sure it's because I said, "On Halloween, you're allowed to eat as much candy and chocolate as you want. It's the only day that you're allowed." and so, as you can imagine, he was on sugar overload. Oops. My bad.

I really wanted him to sleep because we were planning to go to a tick or treating event at our church at 6 that evening and I knew it was going to be a late night. We all piled in the car around 6 o'clock, and as we were walking through the trick or treating line, a tired Joey says in an exhausted sounding voice, "I really shouldn't be here. I should be sleeping." Haha! Our poor little Joey!

Another first that happened this Halloween is that Joey got into a bouncy house full of kids, and I mean, packed, and didn't freak out. He was the one who suggested him going in. I couldn't believe it! He spent a good 20 minutes in there with rowdy older kids and had the time of his life. I was so proud of him for how brave he was!

When we got home, the kids were bouncing off the walls and being so funny and cute.  Joey had eaten so much chocolate it was crazy, and so had Stuart and I, and Stuart and I were feeling sick and soooo hungry for real food. Luckily I had fed the kids a bunch of veggies and fruit before we went out, so hopefully Joey didn't feel too sick haha he didn't say he did, so I'm sure he was fine.

We didn't get the kids to bed until 9, which is crazy, but whatever. It was Halloween!

The End.

PS I have a bunch of  pictures that I'll post later!